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Letters to Our Lost Sister

To Allah we belong and to Him is our return
To Allah we belong and to Him is our return

Recently, we lost a sister. Page Spence converted to Islam two short years ago. And in that time, as she tried to find her footing in faith, she was marginalized and judged. Page was born on November 12, 1977 and passed away on Wednesday, April 22, 2015.

The circumstances of her death were preventable. But we will not talk about how she died here. We will talk about how she lived and what she went through as a reminder to all of us, to be kind to one another. A reminder that there is no room for harshness and faith in the same heart.

I never met Page, but her story moved me deeply as I read about her life and her loss. Her friend, Melissa Chance Yassini, puts is all into perspective.


Written by Melissa Chance Yassini

Melissa Chance Yassini
Melissa Chance Yassini

April 23, 1015: As everyone else was sharing their pics taken with our Sister, Page, I decided to share mine as well. This is a pic of me and Page. You don’t see her? Look again. Look close. There she is … Right there … In all of my insecurities.

She is in all of us. Am I good enough? Do I do enough? Is my hair showing? Are they laughing at me? Are they talking about me? Am I Muslim enough? Am I too fat? Am I ugly? Do they like me? Do they accept me?

In her name, in her honor. Stop shaming yourself and each other. Starting now.”

I have to say this… It needs to be said. I have had so many people ask me how Page Spence died. What happened? Who was she? What happened between her and her husband? I understand that it is our nature to be curious. I get that.

But does it matter, really? Page was our Sister. Page was someone who never felt accepted by us as a whole. Page never felt like we approved, like she was part of the gang. She struggled. She was given to us, as a gift. As a test. And we failed.

We own that. We must own that. Rather than worrying about how she died, what happened in her marriage, all her info, fighting for her body. Let her rest in peace. Pray for her. Pray for yourself. Ask Allah to make you better.

Ask Him to help you be a better friend, to be more available, to not judge, to not bully, to be easy, and open, and loving, and kind, and giving, and all the things she was. Was she perfect? No. Am I? No.

Her time here is over. She is gone. We still have to keep going. We have to do better. We are all one Ummah, one family. Don’t make that just words you say … BE ABOUT IT! Live it. Prove it.

al Fajr

May 6, 2015:

They say people come into your life for a reason and I often find that to be true. I cannot recall exactly how I came to know Page, I cannot pin point exactly how we met or where. One day, she was just there.

She was placed in my life at the perfect time, in the midst of personal turmoil. In one of our very first encounters, she and I had a conversation that felt like we had been friends for years. It was then that our friendship was sealed.

Page was a woman of profound beauty, inside and out. She had the face of an angel, with a smile that welcomed every person she encountered. She was always smiling, always laughing, always making others laugh.

She was the life of the party. Page never met a stranger and she never made you feel unwelcome. A lover of people (especially children) and animals, she went out of her way to make everyone around her feel loved, and important and special. Page had a beautiful and contagious spirit about her.

She was always helping, always advising, always offering support and encouragement. There was never a single time I called on her and she was not there. My first experience with her all the way to my last was one of absolute pleasure. I cannot recall a single incident of indifference between us.

In her memory, I plan to honor her by continuing on her legacy of friendship and acceptance. I plan to take life by storm as she did and not get in my own way. I plan to love fully, praise loudly, smile often. I plan to belly laugh and take selfies with my friends and enjoy dessert after EVERY meal. I plan to be a shoulder to lean on, an ear that listens and a hand to hold.

embrace

I plan to embrace every newcomer to my life and respect them and treat them as if they have always been there. I plan to help wherever I can and to inspire others to do the same. I plan to take care of animals and raise awareness to causes that benefit them. I plan to enjoy every single second of being a Mom, a gift she was never granted.

Thank you Page, for your friendship and for your kindness. Thank you for being such a beautiful example of all that I have mentioned above.

Just as she blew into my life, she left it much the same way … unexpected … unannounced. There one day and gone the next. Gone, but never forgotten.

Love you Page!


Inna lillaahi wa inna ilayhi Raaji’oon. To Allah we belong and to Him is our return.

Melissa is a Dallas, Tx native who converted to Islam 20 years ago. She is the proud mama to one gorgeous daughter. Melissa still calls Dallas home and in her community she is an active fund-raiser and Girl Scout troop leader, and an awesome sister to all she comes across.

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Symptoms Someone Is Converting to Islam

Symptoms Someone Is Converting to Islam

Symptoms of convert header

Written by Theresa Corbin

Of all the things our friends and families could get into, we in the West seem to fear Islam the most. Which is pretty dumb because as someone who has drug addicts and criminals as family members, I can tell you there are much, MUCH worse things (and converting to Islam is NOT a bad thing, fyi).

With so many people in the West converting to Islam, “concerned” citizens have started making claims that halal meat, learning Arabic words, or even eating falafel turns people into Muslims (whatever turning into a Muslim means?! as if you become a vampire). Such claims are beyond absurd, ignorant, and seriously offensive.

muslim cat

But, satire aside, there is a certain paranoia in the West that someone you know might become a Muslim. So in order to calm fears, I have compiled a list of symptoms that someone might display if/when they start to contemplate choosing Islam for their life. Beware!  This is pretty tame stuff.

1. Not Eating pork

Sure, sure it’s bad for your cholesterol and you need to bring down your blood pressure, but if the guy next to you at lunch doesn’t order pork … He might be thinking about becoming a Muslim!

obama
This guy has GOT to be a Muslim. You can tell his sandwich is all beef. The guy behind him is letting the FBI know.

2. Ditching toxic people

I guess it could be just a sign of maturity if the one you love finally breaks up with the loser boy/girlfriend or ditches the drug dealer side kick. But why chance it? They could be converting to Islam!! The horror!

bad company

3. Becoming more respectful to parents

Golly Gee! Your loved one might have finally realized all that their parents had to put up with just to raise them. But, if that same loved one becomes “irrationally” respectful of their parents, why not suspect that the creeping Shariah of Islam has something to do with it? A chilling thought.

parents

4. Being more modest in all matters

Have you noticed your friend or family member stopped twerking in booty shorts, stopped cursing so much, or even stopped claiming they are God’s gift to anything? You wouldn’t be remiss if you suspected Islam was sneaking into their hearts. How dare they!

modesty

5. Stopped being two-faced

If your guy or gal pal is tired of talking cr@p about people behind their backs and actually wants to talk about something real, beware! She/he might be turning Muslim. Make sure they haven’t been slipped some halal meat!

gossip

6. Giving in charity

If someone in your family decides to start giving to the homeless, even though it is illegal in your city, you might have a future Muslim on your hands. Let the outrage begin!

charity

7. Becoming more patient

Did you yell at your loved one and they just hugged you? Weird behavior, right? It might be time to ask them if they have been reading the Quran in secret. You might have a convert on your hands. The humanity!!

kindness

8. Being kinder to everyone

Have you noticed your friend/family member treating people … like … better … like with something that looks like what used to be called kindness … but now its known as weakness. That kindness might not be weakness at all, but an attempt to beautify themselves for God. You might have a Muslim on your hands. Alert the authorities!

kindness

9. Becoming more affectionate

Did your sister, brother, or child just tell you -out of the blue- that they love you?! Strange things are happening. They might be coming down with a infectious case of Islamic behavior. Call the doctor!

loving
either, you shouldn’t either

10. Being less judgemental of others and more critical of themselves

Has your loved one turned their criticism inward? Have they started saying things like, we don’t know what she has been through, or I’ve done stupid things myself, when someone is being judge by others? Hmmm, sounds like the introspection of a Muslim. How dare they?!

judgment

But here is the kicker. Even if your fears are realized. And you have a family member or friend who is converting to Islam, you can still love them. And they will still love you! ❤

muslim family

Up next: A look at the signs someone is becoming a radical/extremist/jihadi. Now THAT is a different matter all together and something to actually be concerned with.

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Take Back Islam: Education Rights of Women

Take Back Islam: Education Rights of Women

Education rights of womenThere is a saying that many repeat, but some do not apply in their lives, communities, or countries. Educate a women, educate a nation. This saying became very dear to me. It became my mantra. It became the soothing balm when I turned to religious knowledge to fight this denial of education to women.

Educate a women, educate a nation because the child’s first teacher is her mother, because the husband seeks advice from his wife, because a woman who helps herself out of poverty with her education helps her whole family out of poverty. But more than all that, educate a women because education is her basic human right.

The fact that this needs to be said and is not just something everyone knows is truly depressing.

Muslims have a history filled with female scholarship, secular and religions. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) set aside days on which to teach the religion to female companions. And he did not just set these days aside to separate women as some will have you think. Men and women sat in sermons together. He set aside a day for women to pay special attention to the women of his community, to give their questions, concerns, and education the attention it deserved.

Abu Sa‘id al-Khudri reports that some women said to the Prophet (PBUH) “men have gone ahead of us (in terms of acquisition of knowledge). Therefore, appoint a special day for our benefit as well.’ The Holy Prophet (PBUH) fixed one day for them. The Prophet (PBUH) would meet them on that day, advise them and educate them about commandments of Allah Almighty”. (saheeh al-Bukhari)

Aishah and Umm Salamah (ra) are among the greatest narrators of hadith. Much of what Muslims practice today in terms of their religion is transmitted via the education of these two great women. The world’s first institution of higher education, the University of Qarawiyyin in Morocco, was established by a Muslim woman, Fatima al-Fihriyya.

fatima_al_fihriyyaAsh-Shifa bint Abdullah was skilled in medicine and appointed by Umar (May Allah be pleased with them both) to a position of public administration during his caliphate. Rabi’ah bint Mu’awwad was a great scholar of Islamic law who taught even the male scholars of Madinah.

Not only did the Prophet (pbuh) facilitate the education of his female companions and set forth an example for future generations. He emphasized the utmost importance of education when he said, “seeking knowledge is mandatory for every Muslim.”

We also find Allah repeatedly telling us in the Quran to ponder, think, analyze, making no distinction between men and women.

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Seeking of knowledge or education for a Muslim is not distinguished between sacred and secular or even male or female. And the implication of these sayings of the Prophet and directives of the Quran is that every Muslim should pursue his or her education as far as it is possible, remembering that Allah tells us in the Qur’an: “Only those of His Servants who are learned truly, fear Allah” (Al-Qurân, 35:28).

Despite all this, in modern history, some parts of the Muslim world have seen a decline in female scholarship, due to the erosion of women’s rights – God given rights. And as a result, the Islamic world has seen a perpetuation of uneducated and poverty stricken communities and further deterioration of women’s rights.

In many parts of the Muslim world women are being highly educated and that needs to be celebrated. But still the fact remains that this is not true for all women and especially in parts of the world were “Muslim” radicals roam wild. And even if one girl is denied education based on her gender or because of some made up religious ruling, it is a topic the MUST be addressed and thoroughly refuted.

Muslim women graduationIt is of the utmost importance for girls to regain their place at the grammar school desk, for women to take up their spots in the university, and in the tradition of scholarship, to reclaim the tradition of highly educated and empowered Muslim women.

According to a paper by Islamic Relief, a charitable organization which supports education programs throughout the Muslim world, “… girls’ education in particular has been shown to have substantial economic and social benefits … Studies have shown that communities with a high proportion of educated mothers have less health problems.”

Islamic Relief tells a story of one woman named Uzra who not only improved her own life through education, she also benefited the lives of everyone around her.

When Uzra was illiterate, she couldn’t help her children with their studies or read instructions on medication. Now, thanks to our women’s education programme, she can read and write, and runs a business employing 48 women. This income is vital as Uzra’s husband is disabled and cannot work.”

A number of studies show that a girl who is educated is better able to bring up her children in safety. She is better prepared to educate them. She is more likely to keep her family healthy. She will also be able to work and earn a living, crucial in many places where one wage is just not enough. She will likely live a life with less struggles and more fulfilment.

It is of the utmost importance to educate women, to educate our nation, to pull ourselves out of poverty, to have spiritual fulfilment, to have a chance.

muslim women education rights
picture from Dreamstime

Shaykh Mohammad Akram Nadwi says, barring Muslim women from education and religious authority is akin to the pre-Islamic custom of burying girls alive. I tell people, ‘God has given girls qualities and potential.’ If they aren’t allowed to develop them, if they aren’t provided with opportunities to study and learn, it’s basically a live burial.

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What Muslims Get Wrong about Americans

What Muslims Get Wrong about Americans

what Muslims get wrong heading

Written by Theresa Corbin

As an American and a Muslim, I am trying my best to fill the enormous gap of understanding between the “Western world” and the “Muslim world”. And mostly I have discussed what Americans/Westerners don’t know about Islam and the Muslims, or rather what they get dead wrong.

But today I am flipping the script and talking about what Muslims (from overseas … because there is such a thing as Muslim Americans … me, for example) think about America and Americans that are false or just harmful stereotyping.

This prejudice thing is a two-way street. And the sooner we start thinking in terms of one world, with billions of individuals, instead of us vs. them, the sooner we can get down to the business of peace.

So let me introduce you, who may not know America except through stereotypes, to reality.

1. Americans are gluttonous skinny American

Sure, a large amount of Americans are overweight. Sure, we have a show called “Man versus Food” where a dude eats so much that he almost dies every episode.

And yes, we do have an obesity problem, but it has little to do with gluttony and a lot to do with what the government subsidizes and allows corporations to sell as food that is not really food at all. It’s a whole thing.

BUT Americans are becoming more and more conscious about what they eat and what they think is actually edible (not McDonald’s. that is for sure). As it turns out, tons of Americans are obsessed with healthy living, moderation, and clean eating.

And, we are, in fact, only number 2 in obesity, following Mexico. So much for the chant: “We’re # 1!”.

2. Americans are arrogant

Have you been to France? Yes, this one is true. Except that I can’t think of any group of people that doesn’t have an arrogance problem. This arrogance thing is a human problem. Many people including Americans, are humble, but most human beings are arrogant.

3. Americans are either cowboys or business professionals

Don’t forget about all the hipsters and soccer moms.

4. All Americans hate Muslimsamerican-muslim hug

Nope. Not even close.

Some people really do hate Muslims. But most people are open-minded and welcoming. Generally, Americans have a deep love of difference, exploring other cultures, and learning new things.

5. America is one big mall and everyone is obsessed with consumerism

BEEEPPPP … This is a message from the Emergency Shopping System: BEEEPPPPPP …

We interrupt this regularly scheduled blog because Sephora is having a sale.

Just joking. I have never even been to a Sephora.

This stereotype has its basis in reality. But it is an oversimplification.

Yes, there are shopping centers everywhere and more pop up like weeds. And yes, many Americans go into debt buying crap they do not need. But the problem is not that people want to do this mindless shopping and spending. It is more like big business in cooperation with ad execs have brainwashed us into thinking this is our only purpose in life.

There is, however, a huge movement in the Western world called anti-consumerism. More and more people are opening their eyes to this problem and de-programing their brains.  Google Anti-Consumerism movement to find out more (I’m too lazy to add a link. See why in # 9).

6. Americans are dumb world_according_to_americans

Every group has there stupid people. Just because our dumb people know how to use YouTube and Twitter or start a “news” network and name it after a smart animal (a Fox), doesn’t mean we are all more dumber! 😉

7. America’s elected officials represent the wishes of the people.

So funny! Oh, wait, you really believe that?

Most Americans don’t even know what is done in their names by their “representatives”. After the election is over and officials take office, they pretty much do whatever their campaign financiers tell them, and disregard the needs of the people and the interests of the country. All for the sake of getting more money to be re-elected and do it all over again.

nascar

8. We are all rioting in the streets over racial tension.

Sometimes we march in peaceful protest and sometimes it’s not about race but income inequality or the occupation in Palestine.

We do have problems with racism and riots do break out. But just like the entire Middle East is not constantly in chaos, the US is not in constant riot or threat of riot. It’s a big place that the media can sometimes represent in a small way.

9. Americans are lazy

I am lazy, but I am not exactly representative of the whole.

Follow this link (click here) to find out why “lazy” is an inaccurate representation of the average American and the history of America. That is, unless you are too lazy to read another thing.

10. Americans are rich.

One in five American families are going hungry right now. And homelessness is at crisis levels.  America is home to some very rich people. But those people make up only 1% of our population.  The very rich 1 % own 40% of all wealth in America. To add insult to injury, these rich citizens get major tax breaks (see # 7

by Mike Thompson
by Mike Thompson

to find out why.)

We were once a nation with a large middle class of people who lived comfortably with a lot of surplus.

But now we are a nation in debt and trying to live off of a $7.25 per hour minimum wage (at 40 hours a week if your are lucky to get full time employment), in places where housing costs alone is sky high (at around $2,000 a month in New York). You do the math to see if Americans are rich.

So the next time you decide to hate on Americans, stop and remember we are all in this world together and stereotyping large groups of people is just dumb.

Add to the list in the comments below!

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Anatomy of the Extremist

Written and (poorly) illustrated by Theresa Corbin

Anatomy of the extremist

The extremist's head

The extremist's eyes

The extremist's mouth

The extremist's hands

The extremist's heart

The extremist's stomach

The extremist's feet

Anatomy of the extremist conclusion

 

 

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Talking in Memphis

I love Memphis
New Orleans is awesome, but Memphis is giving the “Big Easy” a run for her money.

Written by Theresa Corbin

A couple of weeks ago, I gave a talk inviting people to understand Islam and the Muslims in Memphis, TN. I had many fears before going to Tennessee. Having read about anti-Muslim sentiment in Murfreesboro, TN, I fully expected to be shot.

I went anyway. And instead of hostility, I found the Memphian community full of interfaith camaraderie. I found Muslims working hard to enrich their community and create an atmosphere that fosters understanding and cooperation. I found warm and welcoming non-Muslims who greeted their Muslim neighbours- and me!- with big smiles and kindness.

My experience in this amazing community has enriched my life (and my waistline. Their BBQ ain’t no joke) in so many ways I cannot even begin to explain.

In order to raise awareness about my talk, I had the opportunity to speak about my topic in interviews on TV and radio.

What follows are my interviews:

On TV: WREGClick me: WREG

On Radio:

* Hajar’s son’s name was Ishmael (Peace and blessings be upon him).

**please note that Sarah was not the one who made Abraham leave Hajar in the desert of Mecca. This was a directive from God. I just learned this and feel embarrassed that I let my former Christian understanding of the story — that can be very misogynistic (Eve responsible for the first sin. Not true in Islam)– shape my attitude toward Sarah. 😦

I hope to post the video of my talk “An Open Invitation to Understanding Islam and the Muslims” next week. So stay tuned!

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