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Letters to Our Lost Sister

To Allah we belong and to Him is our return
To Allah we belong and to Him is our return

Recently, we lost a sister. Page Spence converted to Islam two short years ago. And in that time, as she tried to find her footing in faith, she was marginalized and judged. Page was born on November 12, 1977 and passed away on Wednesday, April 22, 2015.

The circumstances of her death were preventable. But we will not talk about how she died here. We will talk about how she lived and what she went through as a reminder to all of us, to be kind to one another. A reminder that there is no room for harshness and faith in the same heart.

I never met Page, but her story moved me deeply as I read about her life and her loss. Her friend, Melissa Chance Yassini, puts is all into perspective.


Written by Melissa Chance Yassini

Melissa Chance Yassini
Melissa Chance Yassini

April 23, 1015: As everyone else was sharing their pics taken with our Sister, Page, I decided to share mine as well. This is a pic of me and Page. You don’t see her? Look again. Look close. There she is … Right there … In all of my insecurities.

She is in all of us. Am I good enough? Do I do enough? Is my hair showing? Are they laughing at me? Are they talking about me? Am I Muslim enough? Am I too fat? Am I ugly? Do they like me? Do they accept me?

In her name, in her honor. Stop shaming yourself and each other. Starting now.”

I have to say this… It needs to be said. I have had so many people ask me how Page Spence died. What happened? Who was she? What happened between her and her husband? I understand that it is our nature to be curious. I get that.

But does it matter, really? Page was our Sister. Page was someone who never felt accepted by us as a whole. Page never felt like we approved, like she was part of the gang. She struggled. She was given to us, as a gift. As a test. And we failed.

We own that. We must own that. Rather than worrying about how she died, what happened in her marriage, all her info, fighting for her body. Let her rest in peace. Pray for her. Pray for yourself. Ask Allah to make you better.

Ask Him to help you be a better friend, to be more available, to not judge, to not bully, to be easy, and open, and loving, and kind, and giving, and all the things she was. Was she perfect? No. Am I? No.

Her time here is over. She is gone. We still have to keep going. We have to do better. We are all one Ummah, one family. Don’t make that just words you say … BE ABOUT IT! Live it. Prove it.

al Fajr

May 6, 2015:

They say people come into your life for a reason and I often find that to be true. I cannot recall exactly how I came to know Page, I cannot pin point exactly how we met or where. One day, she was just there.

She was placed in my life at the perfect time, in the midst of personal turmoil. In one of our very first encounters, she and I had a conversation that felt like we had been friends for years. It was then that our friendship was sealed.

Page was a woman of profound beauty, inside and out. She had the face of an angel, with a smile that welcomed every person she encountered. She was always smiling, always laughing, always making others laugh.

She was the life of the party. Page never met a stranger and she never made you feel unwelcome. A lover of people (especially children) and animals, she went out of her way to make everyone around her feel loved, and important and special. Page had a beautiful and contagious spirit about her.

She was always helping, always advising, always offering support and encouragement. There was never a single time I called on her and she was not there. My first experience with her all the way to my last was one of absolute pleasure. I cannot recall a single incident of indifference between us.

In her memory, I plan to honor her by continuing on her legacy of friendship and acceptance. I plan to take life by storm as she did and not get in my own way. I plan to love fully, praise loudly, smile often. I plan to belly laugh and take selfies with my friends and enjoy dessert after EVERY meal. I plan to be a shoulder to lean on, an ear that listens and a hand to hold.

embrace

I plan to embrace every newcomer to my life and respect them and treat them as if they have always been there. I plan to help wherever I can and to inspire others to do the same. I plan to take care of animals and raise awareness to causes that benefit them. I plan to enjoy every single second of being a Mom, a gift she was never granted.

Thank you Page, for your friendship and for your kindness. Thank you for being such a beautiful example of all that I have mentioned above.

Just as she blew into my life, she left it much the same way … unexpected … unannounced. There one day and gone the next. Gone, but never forgotten.

Love you Page!


Inna lillaahi wa inna ilayhi Raaji’oon. To Allah we belong and to Him is our return.

Melissa is a Dallas, Tx native who converted to Islam 20 years ago. She is the proud mama to one gorgeous daughter. Melissa still calls Dallas home and in her community she is an active fund-raiser and Girl Scout troop leader, and an awesome sister to all she comes across.

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9 thoughts on “Letters to Our Lost Sister

  1. Thanks for the rendition and sharing with us, so sorry to hear about the loss of wonderful woman and spirit.
    Inna lillaahi wa inna ilayhi Raaji’oon and yes to Allah we belong and to Him is our return.

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      1. اسلام عليكم ورحمةالله وبركاته ابداداءما
        Kıymetli pek muhterem hanım kardeşim.
        Sana dünya kadınlarının içinde; “Haticetül-Kübra” gözü ile bakıyor, üzüntünüzü paylaşıyorum. Biliyorsun şehitler ölmez. Ne mutlu ona o yüksek mertebeye ulaştı. Darısı bizim başımıza. Dileyelim mevlâmızdan büyük mücâdelemizde muaffak olalım.
        اسلام عليكم ورحمةالله وبركاته ابداداءما

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  2. Inna lillah wa inna elaihi rajiun…
    May Allah rest her soul in peace and reward her witb his mercy… Ameen…
    I felt a pinch in my heart when I read it… I do not know her and do not know how she died, just what you wrote made me feel that … I do not know… As if there is some one to blame… Not for her death, of course, but for how she died. May Allah tteat her with her mercy. And may we all become more like what Allah wants us to be…

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    1. Ameen. I never knew her either, but I have been where she was before she died, feeling rejected by Muslim sisters. Being judgemental and cliquish is really an epidemic among Muslim American communities, and we have to get back to sisterhood. May Allah grant her peace and the acceptance she was looking for.

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