There are people amongst us, who call themselves Muslims and strive on a daily basis to strip Muslims of their Islamic rights. I would argue that they are actually not Muslims but hypocrites amongst us. A Muslim must always be striving to implement the Quran and Sunnah – and one who actively fights against it, or ignores pieces that are integral to creating healthy, happy, homes and societies, is not of us.
The reasons for such abuses are manifold – but mostly stem from a clear ignorance of and lack of reverence for Sharia and Islam in general. Many of those placed in authority of the Muslims, especially in non-Muslim majority countries, are severely lacking in any foundational or specific studies of Islam.
“Being Muslim: A Practical Guide is a new book written to help people learn how to live and practice the faith of Islam-to learn what Muslims believe, how to pray and fast, and how to perform the Islamic devotions appropriately.”
This is a book I really could have used in 2001 when I took my first shaky steps into Islam. As the author, Asad Tarsin, writes, when he was approached by a convert and asked for resources, he realized there really wasn’t much out there for the new adult Muslim.
In March, I travelled to the gorgeous and welcoming city of Memphis, Tennessee, where I gave a speech. Here is that speech. Please sit back, relax, pop some corn, and enjoy “An invitation to Understanding Islam and the Muslims”.
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Recently, we lost a sister. Page Spence converted to Islam two short years ago. And in that time, as she tried to find her footing in faith, she was marginalized and judged. Page was born on November 12, 1977 and passed away on Wednesday, April 22, 2015.
The circumstances of her death were preventable. But we will not talk about how she died here. We will talk about how she lived and what she went through as a reminder to all of us, to be kind to one another. A reminder that there is no room for harshness and faith in the same heart.
I never met Page, but her story moved me deeply as I read about her life and her loss. Her friend, Melissa Chance Yassini, puts is all into perspective.
Written by Melissa Chance Yassini
Melissa Chance Yassini
April 23, 1015: As everyone else was sharing their pics taken with our Sister, Page, I decided to share mine as well. This is a pic of me and Page. You don’t see her? Look again. Look close. There she is … Right there … In all of my insecurities.
She is in all of us. Am I good enough? Do I do enough? Is my hair showing? Are they laughing at me? Are they talking about me? Am I Muslim enough? Am I too fat? Am I ugly? Do they like me? Do they accept me?
In her name, in her honor. Stop shaming yourself and each other. Starting now.”
…
I have to say this… It needs to be said. I have had so many people ask me how Page Spence died. What happened? Who was she? What happened between her and her husband? I understand that it is our nature to be curious. I get that.
But does it matter, really? Page was our Sister. Page was someone who never felt accepted by us as a whole. Page never felt like we approved, like she was part of the gang. She struggled. She was given to us, as a gift. As a test. And we failed.
We own that. We must own that. Rather than worrying about how she died, what happened in her marriage, all her info, fighting for her body. Let her rest in peace. Pray for her. Pray for yourself. Ask Allah to make you better.
Ask Him to help you be a better friend, to be more available, to not judge, to not bully, to be easy, and open, and loving, and kind, and giving, and all the things she was. Was she perfect? No. Am I? No.
Her time here is over. She is gone. We still have to keep going. We have to do better. We are all one Ummah, one family. Don’t make that just words you say … BE ABOUT IT! Live it. Prove it.
May 6, 2015:
They say people come into your life for a reason and I often find that to be true. I cannot recall exactly how I came to know Page, I cannot pin point exactly how we met or where. One day, she was just there.
She was placed in my life at the perfect time, in the midst of personal turmoil. In one of our very first encounters, she and I had a conversation that felt like we had been friends for years. It was then that our friendship was sealed.
Page was a woman of profound beauty, inside and out. She had the face of an angel, with a smile that welcomed every person she encountered. She was always smiling, always laughing, always making others laugh.
She was the life of the party. Page never met a stranger and she never made you feel unwelcome. A lover of people (especially children) and animals, she went out of her way to make everyone around her feel loved, and important and special. Page had a beautiful and contagious spirit about her.
She was always helping, always advising, always offering support and encouragement. There was never a single time I called on her and she was not there. My first experience with her all the way to my last was one of absolute pleasure. I cannot recall a single incident of indifference between us.
In her memory, I plan to honor her by continuing on her legacy of friendship and acceptance. I plan to take life by storm as she did and not get in my own way. I plan to love fully, praise loudly, smile often. I plan to belly laugh and take selfies with my friends and enjoy dessert after EVERY meal. I plan to be a shoulder to lean on, an ear that listens and a hand to hold.
I plan to embrace every newcomer to my life and respect them and treat them as if they have always been there. I plan to help wherever I can and to inspire others to do the same. I plan to take care of animals and raise awareness to causes that benefit them. I plan to enjoy every single second of being a Mom, a gift she was never granted.
Thank you Page, for your friendship and for your kindness. Thank you for being such a beautiful example of all that I have mentioned above.
Just as she blew into my life, she left it much the same way … unexpected … unannounced. There one day and gone the next. Gone, but never forgotten.
Love you Page!
Inna lillaahi wa inna ilayhi Raaji’oon. To Allah we belong and to Him is our return.
Melissa is a Dallas, Tx native who converted to Islam 20 years ago. She is the proud mama to one gorgeous daughter. Melissa still calls Dallas home and in her community she is an active fund-raiser and Girl Scout troop leader, and an awesome sister to all she comes across.
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Of all the things our friends and families could get into, we in the West seem to fear Islam the most. Which is pretty dumb because as someone who has drug addicts and criminals as family members, I can tell you there are much, MUCH worse things (and converting to Islam is NOT a bad thing, fyi).
With so many people in the West converting to Islam, “concerned” citizens have started making claims that halal meat, learning Arabic words, or even eating falafel turns people into Muslims (whatever turning into a Muslim means?! as if you become a vampire). Such claims are beyond absurd, ignorant, and seriously offensive.
But, satire aside, there is a certain paranoia in the West that someone you know might become a Muslim. So in order to calm fears, I have compiled a list of symptoms that someone might display if/when they start to contemplate choosing Islam for their life. Beware! This is pretty tame stuff.
1. Not Eating pork
Sure, sure it’s bad for your cholesterol and you need to bring down your blood pressure, but if the guy next to you at lunch doesn’t order pork … He might be thinking about becoming a Muslim!
This guy has GOT to be a Muslim. You can tell his sandwich is all beef. The guy behind him is letting the FBI know.
2. Ditching toxic people
I guess it could be just a sign of maturity if the one you love finally breaks up with the loser boy/girlfriend or ditches the drug dealer side kick. But why chance it? They could be converting to Islam!! The horror!
3. Becoming more respectful to parents
Golly Gee! Your loved one might have finally realized all that their parents had to put up with just to raise them. But, if that same loved one becomes “irrationally” respectful of their parents, why not suspect that the creeping Shariah of Islam has something to do with it? A chilling thought.
4. Being more modest in all matters
Have you noticed your friend or family member stopped twerking in booty shorts, stopped cursing so much, or even stopped claiming they are God’s gift to anything? You wouldn’t be remiss if you suspected Islam was sneaking into their hearts. How dare they!
5. Stopped being two-faced
If your guy or gal pal is tired of talking cr@p about people behind their backs and actually wants to talk about something real, beware! She/he might be turning Muslim. Make sure they haven’t been slipped some halal meat!
6. Giving in charity
If someone in your family decides to start giving to the homeless, even though it is illegal in your city, you might have a future Muslim on your hands. Let the outrage begin!
7. Becoming more patient
Did you yell at your loved one and they just hugged you? Weird behavior, right? It might be time to ask them if they have been reading the Quran in secret. You might have a convert on your hands. The humanity!!
8. Being kinder to everyone
Have you noticed your friend/family member treating people … like … better … like with something that looks like what used to be called kindness … but now its known as weakness. That kindness might not be weakness at all, but an attempt to beautify themselves for God. You might have a Muslim on your hands. Alert the authorities!
9. Becoming more affectionate
Did your sister, brother, or child just tell you -out of the blue- that they love you?! Strange things are happening. They might be coming down with a infectious case of Islamic behavior. Call the doctor!
either, you shouldn’t either
10. Being less judgemental of others and more critical of themselves
Has your loved one turned their criticism inward? Have they started saying things like, we don’t know what she has been through, or I’ve done stupid things myself, when someone is being judge by others? Hmmm, sounds like the introspection of a Muslim. How dare they?!
But here is the kicker. Even if your fears are realized. And you have a family member or friend who is converting to Islam, you can still love them. And they will still love you! ❤
Up next: A look at the signs someone is becoming a radical/extremist/jihadi. Now THAT is a different matter all together and something to actually be concerned with.
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As an American and a Muslim, I am trying my best to fill the enormous gap of understanding between the “Western world” and the “Muslim world”. And mostly I have discussed what Americans/Westerners don’t know about Islam and the Muslims, or rather what they get dead wrong.
But today I am flipping the script and talking about what Muslims (from overseas … because there is such a thing as Muslim Americans … me, for example) think about America and Americans that are false or just harmful stereotyping.
This prejudice thing is a two-way street. And the sooner we start thinking in terms of one world, with billions of individuals, instead of us vs. them, the sooner we can get down to the business of peace.
So let me introduce you, who may not know America except through stereotypes, to reality.
1. Americans are gluttonous
Sure, a large amount of Americans are overweight. Sure, we have a show called “Man versus Food” where a dude eats so much that he almost dies every episode.
And yes, we do have an obesity problem, but it has little to do with gluttony and a lot to do with what the government subsidizes and allows corporations to sell as food that is not really food at all. It’s a whole thing.
BUT Americans are becoming more and more conscious about what they eat and what they think is actually edible (not McDonald’s. that is for sure). As it turns out, tons of Americans are obsessed with healthy living, moderation, and clean eating.
And, we are, in fact, only number 2 in obesity, following Mexico. So much for the chant: “We’re # 1!”.
2. Americans are arrogant
Have you been to France? Yes, this one is true. Except that I can’t think of any group of people that doesn’t have an arrogance problem. This arrogance thing is a human problem. Many people including Americans, are humble, but most human beings are arrogant.
3. Americans are either cowboys or business professionals
Don’t forget about all the hipsters and soccer moms.
4. All Americans hate Muslims
Nope. Not even close.
Some people really do hate Muslims. But most people are open-minded and welcoming. Generally, Americans have a deep love of difference, exploring other cultures, and learning new things.
5. America is one big mall and everyone is obsessed with consumerism
BEEEPPPP … This is a message from the Emergency Shopping System: BEEEPPPPPP …
We interrupt this regularly scheduled blog because Sephora is having a sale.
Just joking. I have never even been to a Sephora.
This stereotype has its basis in reality. But it is an oversimplification.
Yes, there are shopping centers everywhere and more pop up like weeds. And yes, many Americans go into debt buying crap they do not need. But the problem is not that people want to do this mindless shopping and spending. It is more like big business in cooperation with ad execs have brainwashed us into thinking this is our only purpose in life.
There is, however, a huge movement in the Western world called anti-consumerism. More and more people are opening their eyes to this problem and de-programing their brains. Google Anti-Consumerism movement to find out more (I’m too lazy to add a link. See why in # 9).
6. Americans are dumb
Every group has there stupid people. Just because our dumb people know how to use YouTube and Twitter or start a “news” network and name it after a smart animal (a Fox), doesn’t mean we are all more dumber! 😉
7. America’s elected officials represent the wishes of the people.
So funny! Oh, wait, you really believe that?
Most Americans don’t even know what is done in their names by their “representatives”. After the election is over and officials take office, they pretty much do whatever their campaign financiers tell them, and disregard the needs of the people and the interests of the country. All for the sake of getting more money to be re-elected and do it all over again.
8. We are all rioting in the streets over racial tension.
Sometimes we march in peaceful protest and sometimes it’s not about race but income inequality or the occupation in Palestine.
We do have problems with racism and riots do break out. But just like the entire Middle East is not constantly in chaos, the US is not in constant riot or threat of riot. It’s a big place that the media can sometimes represent in a small way.
9. Americans are lazy
I am lazy, but I am not exactly representative of the whole.
Follow this link (click here) to find out why “lazy” is an inaccurate representation of the average American and the history of America. That is, unless you are too lazy to read another thing.
10. Americans are rich.
One in five American families are going hungry right now. And homelessness is at crisis levels. America is home to some very rich people. But those people make up only 1% of our population. The very rich 1 % own 40%of all wealth in America. To add insult to injury, these rich citizens get major tax breaks (see # 7
by Mike Thompson
to find out why.)
We were once a nation with a large middle class of people who lived comfortably with a lot of surplus.
But now we are a nation in debt and trying to live off of a $7.25 per hour minimum wage (at 40 hours a week if your are lucky to get full time employment), in places where housing costs alone is sky high (at around $2,000 a month in New York). You do the math to see if Americans are rich.
So the next time you decide to hate on Americans, stop and remember we are all in this world together and stereotyping large groups of people is just dumb.
Add to the list in the comments below!
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