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It’s the Most Difficult Time of The Year

graphic by Kaighla Um Dayo
graphic by Kaighla Um Dayo

(Based on the original song by George Wyle and Edward Pola “It’s the Most Difficult Time of the Year”)

It’s the most difficult time of the year!

There are kids in the masjid

they’re running and screaming

and no one seems to caaaaare.

It’s the most difficult time of the year.

It’s the lone-loneliest season of all!

Empty ‘Eid greetings and promises of meeting

and you know they won’t caaaallll.

It’s the lone-loneliest season of all!

There are parties for Desis

and weddings for Arabs

and great times for all except you.

There are family traditions

and old inside stories

and no one is noticing youuuuu!

It’s the most difficult time of the year

There are marriage proposals

and baby announcements,

and you’re still living aloooone.

It’s the most difficult time of the year!

Now, if you’re a new Muslim

and ‘Eid isn’t Christmas

and you’re missing your family, too.

Just remember you’re never alone

And Allah will never, ever leave you.

If you know a new Muslim

invite him in your home.

Make him feel like he’s family.

Because we’re all one ummah

and ‘Eid should be

the most wonderful time

the most beautiful time

the most meaningful time of the year.


Ok, but seriously guys. ‘Eid should be the most wonderful time of the year for everyone. But for converts, it’s often the exact opposite.

People who were raised in Muslim homes have their traditions they’ve been practicing with family and friends for generations. But for the convert, we left behind all the religious family traditions we’d been practicing the moment we said Shahadah. No more Christmas, or Christmas Eve. No more Easter. No more Lent. No more advent calendars. Most scholars agree celebrating birthdays is haraam. So we only get two ‘Eids.

We want in on the action, people! Islam is for everyone! ‘Eid should be the party of the year, replete with festivities and feasting and gifts and JOY over having survived and thrived another month of fasting and self-renewal. Let’s stop leaving the converts to have their leftovers alone at home and bring them into our homes and circles!

Also, being a Muslim American is all about melding the beauty of both worlds. Your identity as an American with your new identity as a Muslim. We converts need to come together and create our own Muslim American ‘Eid traditions. Why not roast a turkey and wrap presents, combining Christmas with Thanksgiving, huh? I’m just throwing ideas out there, but you get it.

Make ‘Eid wonderful for a convert this year. Invite them over for dinner. Let them in to your secret family gatherings. Don’t let tribalism and suspicion trump your Islam.

And converts: don’t throw a pity party for being left out. Stand up and build your own ‘Eid traditions to pass onto the next generation!

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10 thoughts on “It’s the Most Difficult Time of The Year

  1. MashaAllah….a budding songstress.

    Thank you for pointing this out. As EidM approaches, I’m left feeling like it’s just another day. My daughter and I are the only Muslims in the family…..but, I’m buying gifts for everybody. Taking the kids to a movie. Sharing the story of Ramadan and Eid with my family members who don’t know. I’m making my own tradition……an American Muslim one.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You know what? My sister (not a Muslim) gave me and my kids the most amazing Eid we have ever had last year. Thank God for families who are interested and supportive of our faith!

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    1. Thank you so much for this reblog! I checked out your site and I am so glad you’re out there, getting your voice heard.

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  2. Witnessing Eid while having no specific family tradition and no extended family to exist around and bang around with?

    That was our Eid as I grew up 🙂

    We come from a VERY small family. We do not have an extended family in the known sense of the word. And when it comes to our relatives, for alot of them we were always the “Sheikhs” so their interaction with us was limited. So we used to wake up early in the Eid mornings and start nagging: “Mom, Dad, aren’t we going to Eid also?”

    All the children around us at school and children of friends used to go on telling us and explaining to us about their extended family’s Eid traditions. The father wakes up early… he and the uncles would go to the cemetery, then would gather at the grandmother’s house to have breakfast, then they would meet the rest of the families at the grandmother’s house where the women would all cooperate to cook a huge lunch meal for all of the extended family, all of this while the children would be playing outside and banging small fireworks and buying yummies and all sorts of Eid toys from nearby stores……..

    All of that would happen around while our Eid was……. silent…

    But!

    When I and my sisters grew up, got married and now are having children, we are creating our own Eid traditions. To my small family, for example, I always wake up first to boil the Eid coffee so that they would wake up to the “smell of Eid”. The breakfast is always a sheep lever meal. After the Dhuhor prayer, we head to my parent’s house for a small gathering to exchange Eid greetings, and in the afternoon we head to my husband’s late grandmother’s house where all of the aunts and uncles and cousins gather for a celebration of Eid and an exchange of Eid greetings.

    That’s our own tradition that we have created for ourselves 🙂

    I know how it feels to be left outside the banging joy of Eid. If I had any converts in my family (well, my husband’s cousins are children of converts, but they live oversees, in the US!) I would make sure to invite them and involve them in EVERY SINGLE EID TRADITION, because I know what it means to be left out.

    But since I cannot reach out to all of the brothers and sisters out there, I woul re-emphasize Corbin’s advise: DO NOT STOP LONG at the negative feelings. Create your own traditions. Make them genuine and full of life. Let your children have what you did not have. Compensate in them 🙂

    Happy Eid to all of you…

    (By the way, could not resist singing the distorted version of “It’s the most wonderful time of the year” from Polar Express when I was reading!)

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    1. You’re so right about making sure we create new traditions in order to hand them down to our children. And I was singing the song in my own head as I wrote these lyrics! ha ha

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  3. You have came up with such a great idea …. thats really a need of time…. its not only for new Muslims , rather i find ourselves being so used-to having a Eid, that at times it turns to a routine matter that have to occur on the proper time of calender. A sense of realization about the importance of the occasion is very important.
    Stay happy and may Allah keep you safe, always.

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