Ramadan Giving: Home of Hope

Ramadan Giving: Home of Hope

Written by Stephanie Siam

As Ramadan 2014 progresses into its midway-point, most of us have established a daily routine that incorporates suhoor (pre-fasting meal before dawn), dua’a (supplications), salaah (prayer), dhikr (remembrance of God in word and action), and iftar (fast-breaking meal at sunset), often culminating with tarawe’eh (supplementary evening prayers offered during Ramadan) and witr (supplementary midnight prayer).

For most, iftar is a time we gather around the table with our family and/or friends, joyfully sharing food and fellowship. We laugh and talk about the day’s events; we contemplate our fasts and discuss stories of our Prophets (peace be upon them). And as we sit around our living rooms, lounging on sofas in post-fast dazes, we look at our children playing and the spirit of this blessed season overcomes us, and we say, “Alhumdulillah wa shukr!” (Thank you, God!)

Our children are the greatest gift Allah bestows upon us, and we owe it to them (and Him) to provide, support and protect them at all times.

Yet, not every child has a parent who can – or will – care for and love them. And so it is, at this time, I want to share with you, dear readers, a noble and worthy cause and opportunity for zakat (tithing) and sadaqa (charity) during this holy month: Home of Hope.

Home of Hope
Photo Credit: Home of Hope

Home of Hope opened in 1991 in Beirut, Lebanon. Established by the Lebanese Evangelical Society (Christian-based, but it doesn’t matter – we’re talking about CHILDREN!), it “serves the misfortunate, abused, abandoned and orphaned children of Lebanon.”

It also provides a home and shelter for refugee children coming from neighboring at-war countries, such as Syria and Palestine.  And one of the best aspects of Home of Hope is that it doesn’t discriminate based on religious affiliation. That’s right – they accept every child.

3 yr old
A 3-yr-old refugee arrives in the middle of the night/ Home of Hope Facebook

But the problem is they’re running out of room (or have possibly run out by now), supplies, and just plain financial support. As this month progresses, more and more children have been taken in by their organization, in an effort to save the kids who generally live on the street from being arrested. These are children who have no parents, whose parents are in jail for various reasons (sometimes legitimate, sometimes not), whose parents have cast them aside due to being illegitimate, whose parents force them out on the street to work and earn money for them.

Boys sleeping on mattresses with barely a blanket to cover them/ Home of Hope Facebook

Just a few of the problems they’re experiencing are:

  • insufficient heat during the winter due to not having access to a generator during country-wide electricity rations
  • lack of protein-based food supplies (i.e., meat)
  • shortage of beds and bedding
  • not enough clothing, including undergarments and coats, for children of all ages

These are children who, after reaching the age of adulthood and leaving Home of Hope, will never be considered legal residents or citizens of Lebanon. These are children who have no agency. Children who will always be at risk of arrest or detainment, simply because they’re alive.

What does Home of Hope do besides provide shelter, food and clothing for homeless/refugee/orphaned children in Lebanon?

Our aims for the Home of Hope are many and multi-faceted, but they all focus on creating a nurturing, encouraging, and helpful environment, which shall: first of all, help them to recover from the traumatic events which they have passed through; and second, to educate and raise the children to be intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually prepared to face an increasingly biased future.

Where can I learn more about Home of Hope?

Check out their website at http://www.homeofhopelebanon.org/home.html.

Visit their Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/homeofhopelebanon.

You can also check out the following articles that have been featured by news sources around the world:

Al Jazeera: Syrian child refugees, alone and exploited

The Washington Post: In Lebanon, Syrian refugee children find safety from war but new dangers on the streets

NOW: The lost children of Lebanon’s streets

IRIN Middle East: LEBANON – Alaa Al-Bouz, Beirut, ‘I was taken to an orphanage when I was too young to even remember’

How can I donate?

Secure online donations are being accepted through Tying Vines. Go to https://www.tyingvines.org/donate/  and select Project 1302/Home of Hope.  All donations are tax deductible.

To make a donation to Hope of Hope via bank transfer:

Lebanese Evangelical Institute for Social Work & Development

USD IBAN : LB43 0001 0005 5266 1512 0030 4001

LBP IBAN : LB53 0001 0005 5266 1512 0010 4001

SWIFT CODE : FSAB LB BX FRANSABANK– Hazmieh Branch

Contact Person:

Maher Tabarani

Email: mtabarani@lesociety.org

Phone: +961 71 798 879

And for the sake of Allah, please remember these children in your prayers and dua’a this Ramadan. . .and always!

help the children
Home of Hope Facebook Page

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Ramadan Giving: I Found Islam

Ramadan Giving: I Found Islam

Written by Theresa Corbin

We interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you an update on giving in Ramadan.

According to my most recent Google search, charity is as follows:

char·i·ty — CHaritē — noun

1.  the voluntary giving of help, typically in the form of money, to those in need.

2. an organization set up to provide help and raise money for those in need.
In Islam we know it as that thing that we get reward for, especially in this holy month.  And we know this:“No wealth (of a servant of Allah) is decreased because of charity.”(Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith No. 2247)
I know, I almost forgot what is was too! What with all the buying food for suhoor and iftar (the meals before and after the fast) and the preparing for Eid, it almost slipped my mind.
But fear not, we can catch up with our Ramadan giving part 2 …

IFIAdvertfinal

Ramadan Giving Part 2: ifoundislam.net

What do they do?

We are a global effort to help new Muslims worldwide in a variety of methods. -Shannon Abulnaser

ifoundislam.net’s function is simple enough.  The site and its founder, Shannon Abulnasr, help reverts/converts to Islam. But it is so much more than that. The site and all its Facebook groups give converts a place to share, to discuss, to have community, to understand the religion of Islam, to ask for help and guidance from scholars, to read about others’ experiences, to make converts aware of all the resources available to them.

Why is this important?

Shannon Abulnasr says

There is such a huge demand on us to keep everything running smoothly, but we need the support of our Ummah to continue to grow. We reached a growth spurt, and that is what triggered our need to do fundraising. We are at our max capabilities as volunteer work. Some things just cost money So please be generous during this month of Ramadan….your good deeds are multiplied. New Muslims need your ongoing support!

This site and its groups are important because taking the shahada (statement of faith) is just the beginning. And because saying mashaAllah (God has willed it) when you hear someone converted to Islam is not enough. Because everyone is born with the fitrah (an innate disposition towards virtue, knowledge, and the oneness of God) but no one is born with Islamic knowledge of prayer, fasting, purification, etc. Because even if a convert does not face Islamophobia, it can still be lonely to be the only Muslim in their family, town, state, region.

I found Islam is a service and a resource that most mosques do not provide. It is a service and a resource to a growing number of new Muslims who are being ostracized from Muslim communities because they were not born in the right part of the world.

This site and its groups are so immensely important because saying shahada is just the spark. If we don’t, as a community, make every effort to provide fuel for that spark to help grow faith in converts, that spark can go out. What will we tell Allah when He asks us about our brothers and sisters who left the faith because we didn’t provide them with support?

A convert from Georgia, USA says, “Asalaamu Alaikum, I wanted to let you know that our Brothers and Sisters at I Found Islam, Now What? was and is a great help to me in a time when I had no support. Even though I do not speak much I found the articles to be very beneficial as I learned and grew in my deen and as a person. Brothers like Hossam Ed Deen Allam and Sister Shannon Abulnasr helped me in a time when I was shy to ask for help but unknowing to them By the Grace and Mercy of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala they shared with me websites articles and of their time to help me Alhamdulillah for the Brothers and Sisters At I found Islam,…..and the other groups and pages. May Allah always keep them guided and blessed Ameen Love you All for the Sake of Allah Asalaamu Alaikum.”

Ifoundislam is so important to the growing community of new Muslims. But we can’t leave all of this work and responsibility on the shoulders of a small group of volunteers.

How can you help?

Donate. Click here to go to the site and you will see the donate button on the upper right hand side of the screen. 

Share this post to reach as many people possible!

 

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Ramadan Giving: 1-888-315-NISA

Ramadan Giving: 1-888-315-NISA

Written by Theresa Corbin


315NISAWith Ramadan upon us (what’s Ramadan? Click here),
Muslims need to start thinking about how we will increase our good deeds. Savvy Muslims know that good deeds get more bang for their buck in Ramadan. Specifically, we need to think about how we will invest our charity (since Allah promises a serious return on our charitable donations, I like to think of charity as investment banking).

So going forward, during the month of Ramadan, we islamwiches (not to be confused with islam-witches) will be sharing our charity investment ideas with you in hopes to draw attention to some great efforts that need our support. Let the giving begin!!!

Ramadan Giving Part 1: 1-888-315-NISA

What do they do?

1-888-315-NISA (also 315NISA.com) is a Muslim women’s helpline in North America. 

The helpline is operated by counselors who provide completely confidential and toll free support to Muslim women in crisis who feel they have nowhere to turn.

315NISA.com says, “Our principle is to be non-judgemental in our services. Our services allow for people to open up to our trained counsellors without worry. Our purpose is to assist in supporting, helping and creating a plan of action for the best possible solutions. We are there to listen when no one else is.”

Why is this important?

As 315NISA’s statistical research shows, many Muslim women feel uncomfortable or simply refuse to use resources outside of their religious and cultural spheres. Even when rape, domestic violence, depression and other serious matters are experienced by Muslim women, they feel silenced by familial, cultural and baseless religious pressures.

If our sisters are not seeking help, what is to come of them? They will likely (and many already have) face dire situations.

After reading the Statistical Research Report published by 315Nisa.com (you can find it here), I realized how serious the need for this type of resource for Muslim women is. Not because the report proved something to me, but because it reminded me of all the sisters that have come to me with similar problems. These sisters were looking for compassion, understanding and advice they knew they would never get from their families or religious leaders (a sad indictment of the state of our ummah (Muslim community worldwide))

The statistics reminded me of the sister who felt suicidal because she had been the victim of repeated sexual assaults at the hands of her stalker. She knew she could not divulge this information to her family because of their backward cultural understanding of honor and a woman’s virginity. This sister needed this service.

I was reminded of the sister who confided in the members of her mosque that a man in the community had raped her. Their response was not to comfort her and seek justice, as it should have been, as it is prescribed by Islam. Instead they accused her of wrong doing and made her feel like a pariah in her place of worship. This sister needed this service.

I was reminded of the sister who told me about the abuse she and other family members received at the hands of her father-in-law. Her father-in-law WRONGLY claimed that it was his Islamic right to do with his family as he wished. She understandably questioned whether she wanted to be a Muslim if it meant being at the whims of a man’s temper. This sister needed this service.

These problems are universal. Women from every culture, country, and color face these issues. But the problem in our communities is that women who face serious issues like these feel silenced. We cannot stand for this. We have to open up the dialogue and help our sisters. We must fix our problems. 315NISA is a starting point.

How can you help?

Give a sister in need this number 1-888-325-NISA so she has a place to turn.

Ask if you can post this number up in your Masjid.

Donate. Help 315NISA get the resources they need to keep this effort alive.

Fill out a contact form and see if you can be a resource to them. Offer your skills to them, I know they are in need of a professional video editor.

If our sisters are in need, it is our duty, it is our responsibility to provide for them.

If you are a Muslim woman in North American and you feel like you need someone to talk to about any challenge you face, please call 1-888-315-NISA. They are available during the times below and will have online chat available very soon, inshaAllah.

10am – 10pm Eastern

9am – 9pm Central

8am – 8pm Mountain

7am – 7pm Pacific

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Halal New Orleans Recipe Round Up

Halal New Orleans Recipe Round Up

Written by Theresa Corbin

Since Ramadan is about a week away, it only seems fitting to talk about food. What follows are from articles I have written for Aquila Style -a magazine for Modern Muslim Living- and a previous islamich post.  SOOoooo Yes, I am totally about to quote myself …

The southern USA has a rich tradition of unique cuisine.

This culinary uniqueness reaches a fever pitch in the port of New Orleans, Louisiana. It is as if New Orleanians decided to represent their melting pot of different cultures in a literal cooking pot […] New Orleans is a fantastic destination for any hungry traveler or foodie looking for fanciful fare.

However, as is the case with most southern cuisine, the New Orleans food experience can be a gastronomic “landmine” for Muslims.

Most recipes either use parts of the pig or have some pork added for “flavour”. And when you do find a dish that looks pork-free, you will often find that there is alcohol added.

As a convert living in southern USA, who grew up on New Orleans food, I have had to tweak my mother’s recipes into home cooking the halal way. From gumbo minus the ham hock stock to bread pudding without the rum drizzle, New Orleans and American southern food doesn’t have to be passed up because of its haram components.

New Orleans is famous for its gumbo

halal gumbo

[…]Unfortunately for the Muslim who takes a trip to New Orleans to try this stew, gumbo is almost always made with pork. Whether it is in the stock, a ham bone thrown into the roux for flavor, or pork sausage as one of the meats added to the stew, pork is almost always an ingredient in gumbo.

But there is no reason why Muslims should miss out of this robust multi-ethnic dish. Gumbo doesn’t need pork – shrimp, chicken, crab, or even fish can replace that part of any gumbo.

Click here for the recipe.

 

 New Orleans BBQ Shrimp


BBQ-Shrimp

BBQ Shrimp (deceptively named because it has nothing to do with barbecue sauce or grilling) is usually cooked with beer. I did a little research and some creative cooking, and discovered that the recipe could be adjusted for the halal palate.

Click here for the recipe.

 

 The All Important Crawfish Boil

crawfish1

Even though the crawfish boil usually entails some un-halal aspects, those can easily be switched out for their halal counterparts. So, if you have access to crawfish, even if it isn’t live or from the Gulf of Mexico, you need to think about having a boil. You will first thank Allah, then thank me.

Click here for the recipe.

 Bon Appetit!

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Take Back Islam: Freedom of Religion & Freedom from It

Take Back Islam: Freedom of Religion & Freedom from It

Written by Stephanie Siam

Like many reverts to Islam, my conversion did not come without its share of awkward and unsure feelings: Was I making the right choice? Would I still be accepted in my circles? How would I be perceived by friends and family?

Alhumdulillah, I had a supportive network of friends, and I have family members who, above all, respect my inherent right to make such a profound decision on my own.

No compulsion in Islam
graphic by Nicole Elmasry

Now, I understand the commonly-held belief that when we’re born we are, in the literal sense of the word, Muslims (in complete submission to Allah). That is why many consider themselves “reverts” instead of “converts”.

But in terms of being spiritually-identifying and religiously-practicing individuals, we are not anything. For most people, whatever religion (or non-religion) their parents ascribe to will be the one they also follow into young adulthood (and quite often far beyond). But this doesn’t mean they’ve necessarily chosen it.

For a great majority, they’ve gone along with it, without questioning.

Yet, being a practitioner of a religion requires conviction in the heart. As a certain Elder once reminded me:

Just because your mother or father are a certain religion doesn’t make you that religion. This is NOT DNA people! We do not inherit it!

Unfortunately, not everybody around the world is afforded this inherent right to choose their religious affiliation (or non-affiliation).

One of the biggest news stories circling the globe as of late is the case of Sudanese doctor Meriam Ishag, who was accused of committing adultery, apostatizing from Islam and, ultimately, sentenced to death. Though current rumors (which I pray are true!) announce Ibrahim will soon be freed from her unlawful incarceration, the distress this issue has caused in the international community is still highly tangible – and will continue to be for a long time.

How can we call ourselves The Religion of Peace when those who act as the talking heads and spokespeople of all Muslims continue to misappropriate, bend and twist the sayings of our dear Prophet Muhammad (SAW) and verses of the perfect Qur’an?

How can we stand up and say, “Islam is the religion of human rights”? Proclaim that it “provides rights and equality for women”? Defend it against naysayers who call Muslims, collectively, “terrorists” and “barbarians”? (Or maybe a better question might be, “Why should we have to defend it?” But, that’s for another post. ..)

And it boils down to this next sentence:

Trying to convince a person about something when they are adamant their opinion is correct is like trying to move the iceberg out of the way of the Titanic.

Sailing_too_Close
graphic by Nicole Elmasry

What we have is a giant ship of people (take your pick: Muslims, Christians, atheists, whatever) heading toward a giant problem (the issue of apostasy and its possible punishments).

As much as we’d like, we can’t move the issue (iceberg). If we did, another one would just come up at a later point in time, we’d be back at the beginning. Specifically, someone else would defect from their religion, possibly bringing a harsh verdict down upon themselves. And, in the case of Sudan, illegal.

That’s right. It is illegal, since the sentence directly contradicts Sudan’s 2005 Interim National Constitution, which

provides for freedom of religion in Sudan. In Article 38, on Freedom of Creed and Worship, the Constitution assures that “[e]very person shall have the right to the freedom of religious creed and worship … no person shall be coerced to adopt such faith, that he/she does not believe in, nor to practice rites or services to which he/she does not voluntarily consent.”

Sudan also ratified the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights (ICCPR) in 1986. The ICCPR is legally binding and is monitored by the Human Rights Council. Furthermore, Sudan is a member of the UN, an organization that recognized the importance of freedom of religion or belief in the 1948 Universal Declaration of Human Rights. In addition, Article 27(3) of Sudan’s Constitution expressly states that international human rights instruments ratified by Sudan shall become part of the Constitution [. . .] — Sudan Democracy First Group

Be that as it may, I am not here to argue the legal or penal code of Sudan (though it clearly needs enforcement).

What I want to do is draw attention to the basic insinuation that has landed Dr. Ishag in prison to begin with. The very idea that apostasy should be addressed by an Earthly council so that the apostate can be punished in the duniya (the physical life prior to the spiritual Hereafter).

All too often, people of various religious persuasion take it upon themselves to enact punishment (vengeance?) upon those who do not conform to the ideals or standards of society, theology, or indoctrination. Whoa, that was a loaded statement. Basically, it’s the mindset of

You are wrong. I am right. You don’t agree that I am right. I am going to punish/kill/imprison/maim/torture you.

But where did humans — HUMANS — get this balderdash idea that Allah needs humans to protect Him? Why would the Creator of the known and unknown universes, the artist of ultimate perfection, need an imperfect creature such as man to force atonement on others for not choosing to do something that is…….a CHOICE?

Let’s not forget there is no compulsion in religion (Qur’an 2:256):

2:256

There shall be no compulsion in [acceptance of] the religion. The right course has become clear from the wrong.

 

But that verse is always given as a shield by those who oppose mistreatment of not only apostates, but anyone who chooses not to follow or conform to Islamic teachings. Let’s look at a few others that should serve to remind us that we, mere humans, are not the judge and jury of others when it comes to dealing with actions that directly (and predominately) affects a person’s soul.

 

Take, for example, Qur’an 5:54, which tells us that Allah does not NEED us, as he can replace us at any time with another believer:

5:54

O you who have believed, whoever of you should revert from his religion

– Allah will bring forth [in place of them] a people He will love and who will love Him [who are] humble toward the believers, powerful against the disbelievers [. . .] That is the favor of Allah;

He bestows it upon whom He wills [. . .]

 

Or Qur’an 9:67, which reminds us that if we forget Allah, He will forget about us:

 

9:67

[. . .] They have forgotten Allah, so He has forgotten them [. . .]

 

And yet, the basic truth is this:

There is NO surat (chapter) in the Qur’an, or verse therein, that advocates, prescribes, suggests or commands execution for the apostate of Islam.

Furthermore, the actions that were permitted by the Prophet (SAW) during his time to clarify vague descriptions in the Qur’an were done as example. Yet, neither the Prophet nor any of his companions ever sentenced anyone to death for renouncing their faith, though they had ample chance to do so.  If the punishment were not only permissible, but indeed recommended, the Prophet would have been the first to cast a stone to set the example.

Now, am I saying there is no punishment for apostasy? No. The Qur’an tells us in 9:74 the punishment for apostasy is jahannam (Hellfire). But that punishment is Allah’s to dole out, and Allah’s alone.

So, this brings us back to our ship, heading straight for disaster, as nobody can agree on a solution to avoid the problem.

So, then, how do we avoid running into the iceberg?

We must find an answer that allows all people involved to be true to their respective beliefs, dogmas, ideas, interpretations. In simple terms, we must agree to disagree, while at the same time agree to take action based on a common – no, core – similarity.  But what is that similarity?

The answer is the acknowledgement of humanity.

If you take a group of various theist/atheist scholars (or regular Joes) and ask them a pertinent, faith-based question, you’ll more than likely get a different answer from each attendee based on their ___________ (fill in the blank with your choice of beliefs, religion, interpretation of theological text, agenda, etc.).

But ask them a direct, logic-based question that you might ask a 1st-grader, aka Someone Who is Not Affected by Theological/Atheological Thinking, such as:

Is it right to kill another human?

Shakles
graphic by Nicole Elmasry

Unless they are inherently evil, all of these individuals who can’t even agree on how the Earth was made can unanimously utter a single word:

No.

Now, I see your wheels spinning, Readers (a few unnamed ones, specifically). Here’s the follow-up question:

If there is NO PHYSICAL VIOLENCE involved, is it right to kill another human?

Again, No.

And I think we can agree that it is wrong to take a mother from her children if she isn’t physically neglecting or harming them. Or a child from its father. Or to separate spouses because an intangible entity (government) decides their marriage is not valid by some inane ruling.

Therefore, the only logical solution that allows us to avoid certain catastrophe at the hands of too many captains at the helm is:

When in doubt, do no harm.

And, that, dear Readers is the bond of humanity that will save the ship from going down.

If we can’t agree on the “right” answer, we can at least agree that leaving apostates alone to answer for their own choices on Judgement Day is the least harmful answer in this Life. Perhaps by granting clemency, by truly following the peaceful path, the apostate may be brought round. Maybe he won’t. But, in the end, it’s not our decision to make. Because Allah brings to Islam whom He wills.

And if we execute a person who renounces his faith in Allah, what we’re ULTIMATELY doing is usurping the WILL OF ALLAH to guide him home.

 

#TakeBackIslam 

Read more about our Take Back Islam effort: here, here, here, and here

 

References:

Sudan Democracy First Group (31 May 2014). “The dilemma of freedom of religion in Sudan.” Sudan Tribune. Retrieved 9 June 2014, from http://www.sudantribune.com/spip.php?article51185

 

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Footprints in the Sand: On Converting to Islam and Family

Footprints in the Sand: On Converting to Islam and Family

Written by Stephanie Siam

When I reverted to Islam in March 2005, I have to admit I was afraid. Okay, perhaps nervous is a better choice of word, as I wasn’t scared or frightened. And I know I’m not alone in admitting this feeling, especially with female converts. The process of transitioning into Islam from a previous faith/belief system (because face it, even if you don’t believe in God, you believe there is no God) is daunting:

What will my friends think? How will I be received by the public? Does this mean I have to start dressing like an Arab or East Asian-er? Do I have to start my life over from the beginning, rethinking every choice I’ve ever made?

While all of those are valid concerns, and ones that I did contemplate at some point in time post-reversion, they weren’t what I was afraid of. My fear came from telling my father.

Not my family. Not my Mother.

My Father.

f and d on the beach

Now, before you start thinking my dad is this overbearing and close-minded totalitarian who lives for controlling others’ lives, he’s NOT. In fact, he’s the polar opposite. He’s one of the most open-minded individuals I’ve ever known in my life. And if there is a perfect antonym for overbearing, that describes him, too. I mean, for Heaven’s sake, the man used to sit and logically discuss with me the reasons I should pick up my toys when I was 3 years old. If there’s anything my dad is not, it’s overbearing and close-minded.

So, why was I scared of telling my dad I had become Muslim?

My father has a strong head on his shoulders (don’t confuse strong with stubborn). His choice of worship was not made based on how he was brought up (Nazarene). He didn’t look to his parents to tell him how he should worship God or practice his religion (Christianity). Instead, he went to a Christian college, studied the history and lineage of the Bible and Christianity, and majored in Bible Studies. His goal: to become a preacher.

When he became a member of the Church of Christ denomination, he did so knowing full-well that it represented the beliefs he personally held based on his extensive studying. To him, it was correct.

Now there I was, his 23-year-old daughter, midway through my graduate school program, and I’d converted to Islam. And I had to tell my Father. The same father who responded to my 16-year-old self’s idea of becoming Baptist with, “I’ve failed as a father!”

So, one day while my parents were in town for a wedding, my father and I drove over to the beach at Gulf Shores. We had lunch, talked about religion a little bit, and mostly discussed general life topics. (My father is also a severe introvert, like me, and idle conversation is not a forte of his.)

After lunch, we walked out on the beach. I’d planned my delivery. I asked him what it was exactly that he believed about life and death. He started out with the history of religion (he always starts with the history behind the pertinent question), and then he transitioned into his personal beliefs. Once he finished, I offered my part. I told him nobody had ever really asked me what I believe. It was always just assumed because I was part of a certain family or church that I shared the same beliefs. But, obviously, I didn’t.

Then came the time to deliver my blow. I told him I was thinking about becoming Muslim. (I couldn’t own up to it full-force yet; I needed time to let the idea sink in for him.) Surprisingly, he didn’t stop walking. He didn’t yell (not surprisingly). He just said one thing, and his response has stayed with me every day since. It has had my back when people were against me. It has given me conviction along my chosen path. And those words were:

As your father, it is my job to let you know that I think you’re wrong. But you’re an adult. And if you chose to believe something just because I told you so, that would be just as wrong.

It was all I needed. I didn’t need an “I support you” or a “That’s wonderful”. And I know he still doesn’t like my choice. And I know there have been many tears shed on his side on my behalf.  But I also think both he and my mom have come to conclusion that after nearly a decade, a husband and a child, I’m not going through a phase.

And as each day goes by, I never lose hope that one day my family will join me in truly understanding the history, relevance and authority of our beautiful Islam, insha’Allah. Until that day comes, I will continue to enjoy the avid discussion my father and I have about our beliefs, and I will rest easy knowing that despite our differences, we still respect each others’ beliefs … and rights to have them.

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The Arab Man

The Arab Man

Written by Gracie Lawrence


man scarf 2

 

I once asked my Levantine husband when we were newly married what it meant to be an man in his country. He  responded half laughing and half sighing …

“A crushing sense of responsibility for everyone, knowing I will please no one!”

This reply surprised me, and I can honestly say I did not understand it until many years (and many kids) later when I visited his home country.

Gender issues are always complex.

I was raised in 80s and 90s- the civil rights area was something of my father’s time and I was comfortable in my MTV and jelly shoes to know that women of any color could vote or study whatever she wanted. We didn’t have to stay at home in aprons making pie- there was a whole world out there that was already employing both men and women. With enough Sesame Street in your childhood, it was enough to make any pony-tailed girl optimistic.

Sure, now in my 30s- fully aware of equal pay for work disparages and how the role of motherhood can totally derail a career- I am a bit jaded about all the equality.

Still there are far worse places to be a woman, right?

Interestingly, I never considered that those very places would be the same where it is also far worse to be a man.

Of course in the end it is a matter of personal perspective. I don’t want to get in a culture war right here in the sanctuary that is islamwich. In the West, most of us assume that the West is a better place to be a woman, because our values and what we have been told are in line with that reality … or any place with some pretty awesome law and order; with petty corruption kept well under wraps. Oh Man, how I love that …

But gender roles are much more complicated in Arab culture than I originally thought, and the role of the average Joe Abdul was much more of a mystery to me.

Who is the Arab man?

Can there be more than what is shown on the cover of mainstream media- violent, angry and oppressive? Aren’t they fathers, sons and brothers too?

“Why should I have to do it, it is the man’s job.”

She smiled, adjusted her pink hijab and had a seat while she passed the papers to her brother-in-law, who diligently began to take care of all the bureaucratic work she needed done at the local government building.

Yes, it is a man’s world. And in the Middle East, life is much, much easier with a man.

They take care of the outside stuff.

dusty
Well, doesn’t that look lovely…

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