Category: Women in Islam

The Muslim Woman’s Struggle: Diversity in Feminism Part I

The Muslim Woman’s Struggle: Diversity in Feminism Part I

by Corbin ♥ 18 Comments

Part II here

Written by Saadia Haq, a Pakistani Human Rights worker, author at The Human Lens, and Muslim Feminist. Co-authored by Theresa Corbin

I find it very enlightening when Non-Muslims are frequently shocked at my ability to laugh loud, shout in public protests and say outlandish things, and be who I really am – Pakistani feminist Saadia Haq

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A Voice from the East:

Women across the world are still fighting for rights, as basic as the acceptance that women too are human beings. Be it American women, Ethiopian, Pakistani, and Cambodian and so on. Yes, white women are fighting for equal rights, likewise Muslim women are fighting for equal rights; but why can’t we work together?

We haven’t been able to work together because of the corrosive history within feminism itself. A big issue is mainstream feminism enforcing the one-size-fits–all feminist narrative on us all. (See part II for more on this history)

Now most dominant mainstream feminists enjoy a luxurious position that makes them feel a responsibility and in some cases-gulp- the right to speak for the silenced and oppressed women where a lot of focus is placed on “Muslim women.” The saving of Muslim Women syndrome is very much alive. And policing bodies of the “OTHER” that is “Muslim Women” is not new.

This I tell you from my own experiences of being a woman of color (brown), Pakistani, Muslim woman and feminist. To begin, with women of color feminists are quite rightly exhausted with the mainstream feminism’s tactics of controlling our bodies and life choices. Given the reality of this dismissive behaviour of leading mainstream feminists towards what we have made in bringing positive emancipatory changes in Muslim communities is a sign of arrogance that we can do without. We have been vocal with withering criticism for this “deliberate silencing” of our voices.

Secondly, it would not be wrong to tell you that many women of color and Muslim feminists are aware that love and respect is for white women only. We aren’t white and therefore we aren’t meant to be worthy of love and respect. We are relegated to fetishes and see all sorts of stereotypical imagery and media portrayal telling us so.

As a feminist that has been associated and struggled with several initiatives, I realized the nuances of religion, race, color and citizenship within feminism. There have been times when my Western feminist colleagues totally disregarded my opinions as if I had no mind of my own. And the icing on the cake has been the repeated dismissal and disbelief in my gender based research work, just because I am not white and I don’t have a fancy degree from Harvard.

Let me narrate an incident from 2008 while in Jordan where I represented Pakistan on a global assembly of ending violence against women. My paper focused on how cultural and socio-economic issues work behind honor related crimes in my country. Now this was an event where extremely distinguished and visionary academics were also a part of the panel.

After my successful presentation, which was applauded by dignitaries and acedemics and followed by an equally interesting Q/A round, things went down hill for me personally. I was questioned and interrogated on my research paper by several Western feminist participants. It was as if I was in a court hearing for some unknown crime that I had committed. At the end, I was made to understand that if this work had been presented by a white, Western feminist, it would have been acceptable.

This was not the first time this sort of thing happened to me and it wasn’t the last. But I did start thinking about the mainstream processes through which white women are created as social actors primed to reproduce racism within the feminist movement.

Another issue that comes across very strongly is the sleeping elephant known as “Third World Women” syndrome that systematically makes feminism bound within class and privileged. How so? The feministic theory all women are equal and all women deserve equal rights and benefits only works well for equality amongst white feminism.

I know for a fact that in all my time within the movement, I’ve worked with a variety of white-dominated feminist organizations where most white feminists held power and decision making positions. That also meant following without questions the campaigns decided by those in power, again a brutal reminder that we as Muslim feminists co-workers weren’t supposed to think and voice suggestions. I can safely say that the days of meekly following a dictator have long gone.

Then there are those who want my “token presence” in campaigns designed by them, and all I am supposed to do is fit in where they tell me. The fact that I don’t wear the hijab is another gleeful moment for my Western comrades. But after calling out FEMEN’s topless hijab “solidarity” controversy, I was dished out toxicity for months and remained a target of hate messages. But, you know I do have a mind of my own.

Honestly, I have sidelined myself from such “solidarity” because it doesn’t treat me equal and a lot of it does happen because of the color of my skin, even if people want to negate that. Mind it, Muslim women have a history of our own and this is ignored by many Western eyes.

Within the whole debate of “Leaning In” towards the mainstream feminism doesn’t settle well with Muslim feminism because despite being the same gender, there are other diversities at work. And how can we engage if we are treated as lesser beings? Respect is a two-way street.

I no longer feel comfortable to work with people who view me and other Muslim women as backward, helpless, and useless. It’s time we become more sensitive and inclusive of women to continue this battle for equal rights.

If Islamic Feminism and Muslim feminists are lagging behind and have short comings, this void is NOT going to be filled by mainstream feminism. One has to take into account that Islamic feminism is certainly reacting and broadening its horizons with critiques and the needs of Muslim women across the globe. It’s within itself too diverse to be lumped into one frame work.

Muslim feminism is continuing to react towards the traditional, non-historical understanding of Islam, which is refusing to recognize the more diverse, progressive and alternative understanding of Islam on women issues. And that is not all; Islamic feminism is also reacting to popular dominant Western feminist trends, according to which to be a feminist you have to be secular.

While we are battling on all turfs, home and globally we also acknowledge that there is a long history and current exclusion of the Muslim woman in feminist spaces.

Being a Pakistani feminist and outspoken critique on issues related to women and religion, I can give you what I think means to be an ally to us.

  1. Number One: Do not pity me or construct me as a victim and refrain from doing this to other Muslim women too. Ayaan Hirsi Ali’s early portrayal was made to look like she was a victim of the bad religion Islam, and that she was provided “wings of freedom” in the West.

  1. Number Two: Let us, Muslim women define what liberation means to us, instead of coming down with the usual heavy whitesplaining and condescending. You see us walking away from FEMEN’s topless jihad for those very reasons.

  1. Number Three: Don’t at any stage of time assume that you have the right to speak out on some one else’s behalf. Yes, if I and others asked you to speak, please do it keeping in mind what we feel is best for us, instead of what you feel is best and right for us. Recall the problematic “the First World’s Third World Mona Lisa” – Afghani Sharbat Gula’s photograph.

  1. Number Four: And I cannot stress enough on this. Accept me as an equal despite the differences in our colors, religion and citizenships. Think again, authors Patricia Reott and Martin Reott’s book; Sharia Law: How to Control Women is quite an eye opener.

  1. Number Five: Again there is no compromise on this one. Please don’t force me to accept your arrogance and objectification of my body because it suits your purpose and because you have the power to get away with doing so. Shuddering at Lady Gaga’s “solidarity” in the form of “Do you wanna see me naked, lover? Do you wanna peek underneath the cover?”

  1. Number Six: Finally, don’t take away my agency and presume to dismiss my credentials because I am not into mainstream power positions. Recently, atheist academic Richard Dawkins spent devotional feminist energy in his white knight crusade against Islam and not allowing a Muslim feminist to be equal to him. After all, he belongs to a world, where Muslim women “need” Richard Dawkins to “rescue” the damsels in distress.

Respect Me, Don’t Objectify Me

Respect Me, Don’t Objectify Me

by ssiam ♥ 35 Comments
why do women cover
graphic by Nicole Elmasry

Written by Stephanie Siam

When I started wearing hijab about 10 years ago (more or less), I did it out of sense of duty to Allah.

I believed – and still do – that Allah commands us to dress modestly and appear a certain way in public or in front of non-mahram (non-familial) males. Since I was new to Islam, I wasn’t completely aware of the injunctions he also placed on men to dress and behave in their own form of modesty. I’ve since learned that – shockingly! – men, too, must dress appropriately when in public or around non-mahram women. We can save the societal double-standards discussion for another day.

As any new hijabi knows, it takes a while to get the hang of wrapping yourself in a scarf every day. I’m not talking about the temperature. I’m not even referring to the mental fortitude one must develop to go out in public dressed extremely different than the cultural norms of society (depending on where you’re from).

I’m talking about the literal act of wrapping the hijab. Not getting it to fall off. Or choke you. Or look like you took a giant curtain and twisted it around your head. Or just gave up and piled a bunch of material on top. Or – my personal favorite – like you stuffed your head in a pillowcase and cinched it so tight your cheeks turn purple.

As time passed, I became more accustomed to the art of scarf-wrapping. In fact, I can now do it without looking in the mirror – an amazing feat, if you ask me.

Still, there comes a time when, despite my attempts at keeping everything covered the way it should, the scarf shifts and a bit of (ah!) sin skin peeks out. On these rare occasions, I usually have my reliable husband around to say, ever-so-bluntly, “Your meat is showing.”

My meat.

And, once again, I realize even though I’ve taken care to display the most modest appearance possible (for me), I’m still taking the chance someone might get a glimpse and ogle me. All at once, I am relegated to the display case in a butcher shop. Something men can stare at, drool over (yeah, okay) and decide whether to take home or skip over.

While I do my best to remind the hubs that it’s called “skin” and not “meat”, and that I’m not a piece of it, when I see others making ridiculous comparisons between women who wear hijab and those who don’t, I do my best to change the discourse. Or at least draw attention to the oversimplification and objectification that such comparisons promote.

Case in Point:

While doing my work scanning Facebook the other day, I came across the following cartoon that had been posted on a Christian/Muslim debate page by Sara Hassan Walid.

women are apples now?
women are apples now?

Beneath her post was the question: “Make sense now?”

I read the cartoon several times before I finally responded: “No, it doesn’t make sense. Who covers apples, anyway?”

At the time, I was just making a statement. I didn’t realize why the cartoon so badly rubbed me the wrong way. Was it the colors? The word choice? The over-patriarchal man dressed in what looks like his sleeping gown and slippers? Finally, it occurred to me.

In all sincerity, the whole cartoon makes it seem like men have devised this way of concealing something of importance (I would’ve chosen something more precious….like a diamond, as per usual). However, wearing hijab is not something men came up with to protect and conceal things. Hijab is a commandment of Allah, and He decreed it as protection from unwanted advances and for modesty purposes.

The cartoon nearly comes to the point of having men claim ownership of the idea of hijab. Astigfur Allah!

Next, and probably most glaringly, the tactic of comparing modesty to an apple is ridiculous. First, there is no direct connection. Second, it simplifies the beauty and ultimate purpose of the hijab. Third, an apple can be washed off if it gets physically dirty, as can a person. However, hijab does not prevent a person from getting spiritually dirty (sinning) any more than a cloth keeps an apple from rotting on the inside. The whole analogy is just…….

In other such cartoons, the comparison has been between women and pearls or diamonds (or other precious items). At least this is slightly more connected. The purpose in covering a diamond is to protect it from….jealousy, coveting, theft (a more synonymous analogy, albeit still personally offensive).

But the purpose in covering fruit is to keep it clean, right? To stop it from spoiling?

My problem with the analogy is not that it encourages hijab. It’s the insinuations:

1) Men “cover their women”. Men don’t do this. Sure, some men do out of jealousy or control issues — but the commandment to cover comes from Allah, not man. This cartoon plays into the stereotype that Muslim men “make their wives cover”. This is wrong.

2) “Covering an apple” (or diamond, as previously stated) would be to keep it clean. Now, it’s just plain naive to think wearing hijab keeps a woman “clean” (sinless, pure, modest, chaste … whatever you want to associate “clean” with). And it’s offensive to say that just because a woman doesn’t wear hijab means she’ll be “dirty”. This analogy feeds into the stereotype that men “pick” women based on cleanliness (purity, virginity, sinlessness (?!?!), demureness). Well, shouldn’t this go both ways? Where is the cartoon about a Christian woman (as this cartoon is labeled Christian vs. Muslim debate) asking a Muslim woman why they “make their men wear long beards” or “make their men wear thobes (Islamic dresses for men) to the ankles”?

The problem with the whole cartoon is that it feeds into stereotypes … stereotypes, in fact, that cause people to dislike Islam (men controlling women, oppression of women, women are less than men) in general. When these types of cartoons are shared, it propagates the idea that life (especially in the Muslim world) is all about “men choosing (and for) women”. This relegates women, once more, to the position of property and removes their humanity (which happens as it does in any part of the world, but is not an Islamic concept.)

Why can’t the cartoon say:

Man 1: Why do Muslim women cover?

Man 2: Do you ever feel like you’re being judged by the kind of clothes you wear?

Man 1: Sure, doesn’t everybody?

Man 2: Do you ever feel like you have to dress a certain way to impress someone?

Man 1: Sure, doesn’t everybody?

Man 2: Do you ever find yourself dismissing someone simply because of what they look like or because of how they’re dressed?

Man 1: I hate to admit it, but yes.

Man 2: Do you ever have a hard time concentrating because someone is wearing something strange or revealing?

Man 1: Of course.

Man 2: Well, Allah gave Muslims protection against all of this. Hijab is not just an article of clothing. It’s a style of modesty. It’s not just for women, either. Men, too, are expected to dress modestly and behave that way. Muslim women cover because they prefer, instead of being judged for their clothes or trying to impress others with their labels, to be evaluated based on their actions, performance and contributions. But not all Muslim women cover. Just like not all non-Muslim women wear revealing clothing. There are all kinds, brother.

Man 1: That’s given me a lot to think about. Thank you for explaining it to me. The next time I see a covered women, I’ll remember that.

convo
graphic by Nicole Elmasry

Isn’t that a better conversation? It asks specific questions, clarifies purpose and intent, and also spreads positive knowledge about Islam and modesty.

Maybe I’m taking this way out of proportion. However, the cartoon rubbed me the wrong way (as you can obviously tell), and I try very hard to spread positive images and positive knowledge about Islam to non-Muslims and fellow believers alike. Not because I think I know more, but because I think there is more to the discussion than the trite explanation given in a two-line exchange. (exhale)

Bottom line, hijab is more than just a cover. And women are more than just objects that need to be “kept clean”.

Oh … and just for a final blow … I can’t stand the image of the non-Muslim man.

It looks like someone photoshopped a banana out of his hand. Like he was walking by, eating a banana, and asked this question — which prompted the answer using the analogy of fruit.

And, in any matter, if the writer HAD to use fruit … a banana would’ve been better.

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Ramadan Giving: 1-888-315-NISA

Ramadan Giving: 1-888-315-NISA

by Corbin ♥ 20 Comments

Written by Theresa Corbin


315NISAWith Ramadan upon us (what’s Ramadan? Click here),
Muslims need to start thinking about how we will increase our good deeds. Savvy Muslims know that good deeds get more bang for their buck in Ramadan. Specifically, we need to think about how we will invest our charity (since Allah promises a serious return on our charitable donations, I like to think of charity as investment banking).

So going forward, during the month of Ramadan, we islamwiches (not to be confused with islam-witches) will be sharing our charity investment ideas with you in hopes to draw attention to some great efforts that need our support. Let the giving begin!!!

Ramadan Giving Part 1: 1-888-315-NISA

What do they do?

1-888-315-NISA (also 315NISA.com) is a Muslim women’s helpline in North America. 

The helpline is operated by counselors who provide completely confidential and toll free support to Muslim women in crisis who feel they have nowhere to turn.

315NISA.com says, “Our principle is to be non-judgemental in our services. Our services allow for people to open up to our trained counsellors without worry. Our purpose is to assist in supporting, helping and creating a plan of action for the best possible solutions. We are there to listen when no one else is.”

Why is this important?

As 315NISA’s statistical research shows, many Muslim women feel uncomfortable or simply refuse to use resources outside of their religious and cultural spheres. Even when rape, domestic violence, depression and other serious matters are experienced by Muslim women, they feel silenced by familial, cultural and baseless religious pressures.

If our sisters are not seeking help, what is to come of them? They will likely (and many already have) face dire situations.

After reading the Statistical Research Report published by 315Nisa.com (you can find it here), I realized how serious the need for this type of resource for Muslim women is. Not because the report proved something to me, but because it reminded me of all the sisters that have come to me with similar problems. These sisters were looking for compassion, understanding and advice they knew they would never get from their families or religious leaders (a sad indictment of the state of our ummah (Muslim community worldwide))

The statistics reminded me of the sister who felt suicidal because she had been the victim of repeated sexual assaults at the hands of her stalker. She knew she could not divulge this information to her family because of their backward cultural understanding of honor and a woman’s virginity. This sister needed this service.

I was reminded of the sister who confided in the members of her mosque that a man in the community had raped her. Their response was not to comfort her and seek justice, as it should have been, as it is prescribed by Islam. Instead they accused her of wrong doing and made her feel like a pariah in her place of worship. This sister needed this service.

I was reminded of the sister who told me about the abuse she and other family members received at the hands of her father-in-law. Her father-in-law WRONGLY claimed that it was his Islamic right to do with his family as he wished. She understandably questioned whether she wanted to be a Muslim if it meant being at the whims of a man’s temper. This sister needed this service.

These problems are universal. Women from every culture, country, and color face these issues. But the problem in our communities is that women who face serious issues like these feel silenced. We cannot stand for this. We have to open up the dialogue and help our sisters. We must fix our problems. 315NISA is a starting point.

How can you help?

Give a sister in need this number 1-888-325-NISA so she has a place to turn.

Ask if you can post this number up in your Masjid.

Donate. Help 315NISA get the resources they need to keep this effort alive.

Fill out a contact form and see if you can be a resource to them. Offer your skills to them, I know they are in need of a professional video editor.

If our sisters are in need, it is our duty, it is our responsibility to provide for them.

If you are a Muslim woman in North American and you feel like you need someone to talk to about any challenge you face, please call 1-888-315-NISA. They are available during the times below and will have online chat available very soon, inshaAllah.

10am – 10pm Eastern

9am – 9pm Central

8am – 8pm Mountain

7am – 7pm Pacific

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Like the post, share it, pin it, comment on it, and/or do whatever social media magic it is that you prefer. Find out more about us in the understandably named “About” page and browse other posts in “Table of Contents”.

Hysterical Woman Phenomena

Hysterical Woman Phenomena

by ssiam ♥ 28 Comments

Written by Stephanie Siam

man goes to the doctor complaining of stomach pains; gets Rx. Woman goes to the doctor with same problem; gets straight jacket
man goes to the doctor complaining of stomach pains; gets Rx. Woman goes to the doctor with same problem; gets straight jacket. graphic by Nicole Elmasry.

Let’s get ready to rummmmble!!!!!!

The late 19th century (probably before and most certainly until some point after) saw a Western cultural predominance of labeling people according to disorders. If you’ve ever taken a look at literature or societal psychology from this time period, you’re sure to be acquainted with ideas such as leeching or frontal lobotomies.

Of course, if you spent more than 3 seconds looking at the recipients of such pleasant treatments, you’ll notice they often have one thing in common: the “fairer” sex.

Ah, yes. Throughout history, women have continuously been dealt the bad reputation of being unpredictable and emotional. Therefore, we tend to be considered weaker and prone to act irrationally based on our feelings at any given time.

Unfortunately, though the West has (mostly) progressed past this deluded mindset, other nations are still far behind understanding how a woman’s body works for – or against – her.

Not only that, but when it comes to women’s rights and inclusion, many societies base their ideologies on misappropriated ayat (verses) from the Qur’an and/or ahadith in order to subjugate, dismiss and maintain the patriarchal status quo on the (irrational and idiotic) basis that:

Women are easily confused and should not be given full responsibility or choice due to their precarious emotional states.

Go with me now to the year 2012. . . . .

We are still in Saudi Arabia, but it is nearing the end of my contract. We will be moving soon, and as the end grew ever nearer, I realize I am happy to go. Our time has been pleasant, but it is finished.

My husband’s niece has gotten engaged, so we make a weekend-trip to Kuwait for her engagement party. Now, I’m no extrovert, and I hate parties – but, it is for family, so I have to go to show support.

On the way to the border, we stop and eat lunch at a Hungry Bunny (fast food burgers) with bathrooms so clean I would eat off the floors. We hit the road, and I grab a cup of ice to go (because I have pica, and I crave ice).

Once in Kuwait, we get settled in the hotel (apartment) with my sister-in-law, and then we head to my other sister-in-law’s (mother-of-the-bride) for dinner. I don’t feel too well, so I don’t eat much. I think I am just tired from traveling. It was a long week at work, and there are lots of people in the house. I nibble.

Change scenes. We’re at the mall. Everybody’s happy and laughing. I can barely walk. Once again, I attribute it to being tired, plus I have major back issues, so I thought, “Eh, figures.” I sit and watch them walk around, having a grand time. I’m labeled as unsociable.

It’s the night of the party. I get all dolled up, and I even do my hair (it was just for women at the beginning). Get to the party. Start to get a migraine. I’m thinking, “Great….perfect timing.” By the middle of the party, I have to leave and go sit in the car. I’m dizzy, my head is throbbing and I’m pouring sweat.

The next day, we go to the movies. I’m still feeling queasy, but I warrior through. Afterward, all the family wants to go out to do something (I can’t even remember, I was so sick). I said I couldn’t, and I asked my hubby to take me back to the hotel. I barely got back to the room before I was choking and throwing up. He said, “I feel sorry for you, but I’m happy because now I can tell them there’s really something wrong!” (It sounds insensitive, but I understood what he meant.)

We finally get back to Saudi, and I start feeling better. I thought it was just a stomach bug. Then, Laila gets sick. And mine returns.

So, we head to the doctor. While Hubby takes Laila downstairs to the pediatrician, I wait to be seen by the doctor upstairs.

Now, you must understand this: I have a laundry list of medical issues that puts me at the doctor quite often. I have several chronic conditions that require treatment and stabilization — and they have been. At one point in the past, however, I had some chest pain. I knew there was nothing seriously wrong, but when you present with chest pain, they do the heart tests and make you see the heart doctor for a follow-up.

While I’m waiting to see the doctor, the heart doctor is sitting nearby talking to a nurse. . .about me. They’re speaking in Arabic, but he keeps motioning toward me. She keeps looking. Then the nurse of the doctor I’m waiting to see comes by and joins in the conversation. They continue talking about me. The gist: I’m there all the time. . .or, I’m a hypochondriac.

When it’s finally my turn, I go in to see the doctor (whom I’ve seen before). I run down my list of symptoms: sweating, fever, nausea, diarrhea, pain, etc.

Again, please note: The nurse did not take my temperature, and even though my blood pressure was high, it wasn’t seen as important.

The doctor asks about my husband. Yes, that’s right. My husband should be there to verify my problem.

“He’s downstairs with my daughter,” I say.

“Oh, is your daughter sick?” he asks.

“Yes. She’s got like the same thing, but not as bad.”

It’s like a light bulb goes off in his gray-haired head. “Are you worried about your daughter?”

I’m confused. “No, I’m not worried about her. I mean, of course I’m concerned for her health, but I know she’ll be okay. . .”

“I think you’re a little anxious. You’re probably upset because your daughter is sick.”

“No, that’s not what’s wrong. . .” To prove his point, I start tearing up.

“I’m going to give you a shot of _________” (I don’t remember the name, but it was an anti-anxiety medicine….Xanax, maybe?)

“I don’t need a shot. . .”

He sends me out of the office to wait for the nurse.

In the meantime, my husband comes up to check on me. He finds me crying.

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

“He won’t listen. I told him what’s wrong, and he thinks I’m just worried about Laila.”

“What?” He goes inside and speaks with the doctor. “Honey, come inside. . .”

I go back inside the office, and the doctor breaks down and checks my temp (imagine the concept!). It’s very high. Suddenly, he realizes I am sick, and he hands out a list of various medicines to collect from the pharmacy downstairs.

Royally pissed, we go to get them and leave for home.

That night, I can’t sleep, and I end up in the bathroom for hours. Anything that goes in comes out five minutes later. I can’t eat, and all liquid makes me nauseous.

We go to the emergency room, where the resident runs a bunch of blood tests.

“I have an idea of what’s wrong,” he says, standing beside my bed. “But I’m waiting for the tests to confirm it. I’ve ordered a Widal test.”

“What’s that?” I ask, completely out of energy.

“It tests for typhoid fever.” He leaves the room.

“Oh, my God!” I’m terrified. I don’t know exactly what typhoid fever is, but I’ve heard of it. And I know it doesn’t sound pretty.

The doctor comes back and confirms the test is positive. I have to be admitted. And I can’t have any human contact except for those whom I’ve already been around.

What is typhoid fever? It’s untreated salmonella poisoning which, if left untreated, can result in death. It takes months to recover from completely, and it took me nearly ten days in hospital to reach a level of being able to be around people again.

I had a “Do NOT Enter Without PROTECTIVE GEAR” sign on my hospital door!!!!

That’s right. I came *this close* to death, and I was labeled “emotionally unbalanced”. . . a hysterical woman.

I had my husband go down to the doctor’s office who had written me off with a diagnosis of hysterics.

His response? “Oh, really?” No apology. No realization of what could have happened. Just an, “Oops.”

Alhumdulillah rab-il al-ameen! Thank you, God, for your unending protection! It was a long road, and I recovered.

And I’d like to say this was a one-off. I’d like to blame it on Saudi Arabia.

Unfortunately, I can’t.

The moral of this story?

When women are quickly labeled as emotional and, thus, not even able to appropriately gauge whether their OWN BODIES are acting erratically, it can be more than just a simple “oops” that results. To allow the diagnosis of hysteria to persist as a cultural norm only risks further maltreatment for women in those locations. To be frank, it puts them at a clear risk for death.

This is why careful study and interpretation of religious doctrine is necessary and why biased and flippant prose that condescendingly discounts a gender is dangerous. When such verses are misappropriated to serve a specific purpose, they propagate the stereotype that women carry too much emotional baggage to think clearly.

Of course, by saying that women are the “weaker” sex and inclined to hysterics, what’s really being said is that men are the opposite. That they’re not prone to emotions because they’re “stronger”. That their judgment is solid and unwavering. That they think with their heads, and not with anything else (like their HEARTS). That they’re not easily swayed by gossip and don’t make rash decisions.

Yet, in this story (as well as many, many others), we can see this isn’t always the case. At times, we are all led by emotions instead of logic and clarity. This doesn’t make us “weaker” or “stronger” than the other. It makes us human. And, as humans, we must respect each other to create a stronger, united ummah (brotherhood) and present a positive image of Islam to the world.

But unfortunately for me, it didn’t end in Saudi Arabia.

So, join me next time, when we travel to Oman, and I continue the story of The Hysterical Woman Phenomena.

Oh, and PS. . .wondering what caused the salmonella? I suppose those bathroom floors weren’t as clean as they looked. Never eat ice from a border-town fast food restaurant.

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Take Back Islam: #BringBackOurGirls

Take Back Islam: #BringBackOurGirls

by Corbin ♥ 12 Comments

Written by Theresa Corbin


Take-Back-Islam

As the world waits and worries over the fate of the girls who were abducted on April 14 from a school in Nigeria, a terrorist group, Boko Haram, steps forward and claims responsibility for the repulsive act. And all this evil based on the premise–as their name states–that Western education in sinful (much of which is based on the Golden Era of Islamic discovery) and that Allah tells them to sell these girls as sex slaves (did someone forget to take their Thorazine?).

But somewhere between May 2013 and the recent kidnapping the story changed. CNN reports that Shakau, the leader of Boko Haram, in May 2013 “first announced in a video that Boko Haram would start kidnapping girls. The kidnappings, he said, were retaliation for Nigerian security forces nabbing the wives and children of group members.”

Now after the deed is done and the world is looking at Nigeria, Shakau claims he did it in the name of Allah (God) and Islam. Has he forgotten about his original motive of retaliation?

If there were ever a case of twisting religion to suit agenda, this would be it.

Shakau and his band of criminals are simply trying to give their retribution some form of justification that the world will not be able to ignore.

Bring-back-our-girls

It is the oldest trick in the book. Distort Islam beyond recognition (or fill in the blank with any other ideology) and use it to promote political agenda in order to attain power. Make sure you do so in impoverished area with an ill-educated population. Keep the people uneducated. Use terror to force people into submission.

Then tell the world you have some sort of supreme knowledge no one else has and what you do is in the best interest of your people. And voila your greed and blood lust are sated (right out of the North Korean play book). 

The premise on which they claim to stand so thinly veils their greed for power it is almost childish.

Boko Haram has not only kidnapped these innocent girls and threatens to sell them into sexual slavery [ “O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness” … Quran 4:19], 

they have also:

–Assassinated Muslim clerics for criticizing Boko Haram’s violent nature [killing him (a Muslim) is disbelief -Bukhari].

–Bombed churches [In a letter to St. Catherine’s Monastery, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) dictated, “No one is to destroy a house of their (Christian) religion, to damage it, or to carry anything from it to the Muslims’ houses … No one of the nation (Muslims) is to disobey the covenant till the Last Day (end of the world).” ].

–Burned down over 200 schools [“If anyone travels on a road in search of knowledge, Allah will cause him to travel on one of the roads of Paradise” … -Abu Dawud]

–Murdered fifty-nine male students at the Federal Government College of Buni Yadi  [“… if any one slew a person – unless it be for murder or for spreading mischief in the land – it would be as if he slew the whole people: and if any one saved a life, it would be as if he saved the life of the whole people.” Qur’an 5:32] 

Boko Harma has kidnapped, murdered and maimed countless others all in an effort to set themselves up as supreme rulers of Nigeria claiming Islam (their own made-up version) as their right of power. 

However, 99.999999% of Muslims in the world are not buying it. We will not allow them to usurp our religion and superimpose their own ideology and agenda. We will not offer Boko Haram or any other group like it aid or comfort.

Arsalan Iftikhar, international human rights lawyer and adjunct professor of religious studies at DePaul University in Chicago, says

As a Muslim human rights lawyer, it is obscene and absolutely un-Islamic for these lunatic human traffickers to invoke the name of God while kidnapping young girls and threatening to sell them into sexual slavery. The leaders of Boko Haram have clearly never read the Holy Quran, which states quite clearly that “oppression is worse than murder” (2:191) and that nobody “shall force girls to commit prostitution” (24:33).

Hassan Mostafa, chair of the Islamic Centre of Southwest Ontario, says,

When the leader of this organization started making ridiculous references that he was told by God or Allah to enslave these young women, we felt the need to clarify that this in no way represents Muslims in Canada or around the world.

Imam Khalid Latif, Executive Director and Chaplain, Islamic Center at New York University, says,

They [Boko Haram] espouse a perversely skewed interpretation of Islam that I personally believe carries no legitimacy and is far removed from any Islam that I or the majority of Muslims practice. 

Sheik Ahmed el-Tayeb of Al-Azhar, An Islamic institute in Egypt, says 

Harming the girls ‘completely contradicts the teachings of Islam and its tolerant principles.’

Religious Endowments Minister Mohammed Mohktar Gomaa says,  

The actions by Boko Haram are pure terrorism, with no relation to Islam, especially the kidnapping of the girls.

It is time for the Muslims to stand up together in outrage about the filth that is done in the name of our religion.

We demand that Boko Haram brings these girls back to their families, to their childhood, and to their education!

We demand that Boko Haram and groups like it STOP misappropriating Islam for their agendas!

#BringBackOurGirls   #TakeBackIslam

Read more about our Take Back Islam effort: here, here, here, and here

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Take Back Islam: Sexual Rights of Women Should Not Be a Secret

Take Back Islam: Sexual Rights of Women Should Not Be a Secret

by Corbin ♥ 16 Comments

Written by Theresa Corbin

Take-Back-IslamI recently wrote an article for aquila-style about the sexual rights of the Muslimah.

(The first few paragraphs are in a block quote below)
 I wrote this article in reaction to what I found to be lacking in Islamic literature. As the article below recounts, literature enumerating the woman’s rights in a marriage and specifically regarding sex is hard to find.
But Allah did not forget about the female when it comes to giving her sexual rights, it is just that perhaps the scholars or the authors of Islamic literature that is readily available think it is not good for mass consumption??? I don’t know why a woman’s sexual rights within a marriage is kept under wraps while everyone can recount hadith specifying a man’s sexual rights in a marriage, I can only guess why this is. 
 

If we are shy to talk about such things, we need to think about the greater implications.

Sisters, if we don’t know our rights in regards to intercourse (And I am not talking about the 18th century word for conversation ;)) then how will we be able to ask for them? How will we be able to go about being married and not feeling oppressed? Brothers, if you hide your head in the sand about your wive’s sexual rights, how will you know if you are failing in your duties?
Imagine being in a marriage and a sexual relationship in which your partner continues to cause you pain and leaves the act before you have achieved pleasure (Not that this is always the case). And imagine living like this for years because neither you nor your partner understand what is due to you.
 

If you look at it from male perspective it is fair to say that this is a form of oppression.

Then why don’t we look at it the same way for women? Is it because we think of women as a giver of pleasure and not a receiver? This is a narcissistic approach to love and intimacy. Oxymoron? Yup!

… 

Recently, I was walking through an Islamic bookstore and I came across an entire aisle of books with titles that enumerated the ways a woman is to be a good wife and all the rights her husband has over her.

Out of curiosity, I began looking for the section on a wife’s right over her husband. I knew it had to be somewhere. It was neither next to the section on women being dutiful wives, nor was it in the section about all the ways to go about getting married … it was nowhere.

To balance out all the books about being good wives was just one book entitled Winning the Heart of Your Wife, half of its 64 pages being a note from the publisher. While this book offered some good advice, it also left a lot to be desired …

Read the rest on Aquila Style. Then come back and read on.

If we look to the example of the Prophet (PBUH), we will find that he was gentle and playful with his wives. He offered them foreplay and never left them wanting.

Many of us know very little about the Islamic sexual rights of a woman and even fewer of us understand the anatomy and the reasons behind these rights.

So let me tell you how Allah has created the female (many sisters might not even know this about themselves).

So much thought and “honor” is put into the hymen. When very few people actually know anything at all about this part of the female anatomy. And if we have heard anything about it, it is only in terms of how it should “broken” (sexual violence much?). The hymen is not a layer of skin that covers the female sex organ that needs to be broken. It is layer of skin that surrounds the vagina, it stretches during foreplay and it even heals itself when torn.

It’s true that women may experience pain or bleeding the first time they have sex, but it’s not because of their hymens; more likely, they began having intercourse without proper foreplay to lubricate the vagina. And as it turns out, hymens tell you nothing about a woman’s sexual history. Not every woman is born with a hymen, and the shape and size of a hymen differs dramatically from woman to woman. Since the hymen doesn’t appear to serve any purpose, it may very well be vestigial. –howstuffworks.com

Hence the importance of foreplay. Bleeding caused by sexual intercourse does not always happen when the woman is a virgin. And conversely it can happen when a women isn’t a virgin. Bleeding during intercourse happens when the male has not provided enough foreplay and causes tearing and pain.

It is almost comical to think that an entire custom of proving virginity with bloody bed sheets is really just built around men being bad at sex. That is, it would be comical if it weren’t a great source of pain.

Not only is foreplay an Islamic duty and a deterrent to causing pain, it is also a path to mutually pleasurable intercourse.

While it is debated whether the husband is obligated to bring his wife to orgasm, the hadith I mentioned in the Aquila-Style article gives us a guideline. Imam Malik recounts that a man should not interrupt sexual relations with his wife until she is fulfilled, unless she has given her permission. This tells us that it is not for the man to decide when sex is finished. He must wait for her as best as he can (circumcision of the male helps prolong the sex act). Whether the wife reaches orgasm (nearly impossible if she has suffered female circumcision, but that is for another post) or is she is just done with the experience, it is up to the wife to say when the intimacy is over. 

If a woman is promised that the sexual experience will be enjoyable and that she is in control of when it is over (her Islamic rights), she will be more inclined to want to participate. If husbands follow Islamic guidelines, they won’t be begging or manipulated their wife with a hadith of angles cursing them. Such manipulation is oppression when the husband demands his rights but is not fulfilling his rights to her. Both parties need to be sexually fulfilled.

Why can’t we be frank and about sexual rights of women within a marriage?

Why isn’t there more literature explaining what is due to the women in her marriage bed? It is so important to a happy and fulfilling marriage, a happy family and therefore a happy society that it seems criminal to not make the masses aware of these facts.

#TakeBackIslam

Read more about our Take Back Islam effort: here, here, here, and here

Follow us (upper right of the page), email us (islamwich@yahoo.com), like our face with your face on Facebook, like the post, share it, pin it, comment on it, and/or do whatever social media magic it is that you prefer. Find out more about us in the understandably named “About Us” page and browse other posts in our brand spanking new “Table of Contents”.

Take Back Islam: Rape is NOT Zina

Take Back Islam: Rape is NOT Zina

by Corbin ♥ 31 Comments

Written by Theresa Corbin

In Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, a 23-year-old woman was “awarded” a one-year prison term and 100 lashes for committing “adultery” and trying to abort the resultant fetus after being abducted and gang raped – Saudi Gazzette.

We live in a world where men in charge conflate rape with sex. We live in a world where women living in “Muslim” countries like Pakistan, Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, Iran and many more, are charged with zina (adultery) when, in fact,  they have been victims of rape.

This is a dangerous game men play with the lives and well-being of women.

No one is free when others are oppressed

Rape is not sex. Rape is not zina (adultery). Rape is ightisab (taking something by force). The history of Islamic scholarship bares this out. It is well-known that in “Fiqh-us-Sunnah” (an Islamic legal book) rape is included in a definition of hiraba (terrorism or crimes of violence), which states: “A single person or group of people causing public disruption, killing, forcibly taking property or money, attacking or raping women, killing cattle, or disrupting agriculture.”

But by conflating adultery with rape, the “Islamic” courts insist that a victim of rape should produce four witnesses.

However, the four witnesses demanded in the Quran does not even apply to rape. The four witnesses are only required when accusing a woman of adultery (zina). 

“Those who commit unlawful sexual intercourse of your women – bring against them four [witnesses] from among you. And if they testify, confine the guilty women to houses until death takes them or Allah ordains for them [another] way.” (4:15)

It is absolutely absurd to claim that a rape victim is accusing herself of being unchaste and committing adultery and then demand she produce witnesses!

In reality–which seems to not exists when it comes to rape in these Muslim countries–Islam as a crime despicable rape where the rapist is put to death or given 100 lashes. And the victim is not to be put under societal or legal pressure, but should be offered state sanctioned support.

But I guess these lawmakers in “Islamic” countries didn’t see the verse after the four witness verse that says both involved in sin of adultery should be punished.

“Punish both of those among you who are guilty of this sin, then if they repent and mend their ways, leave them alone. For Allah is always ready to accept repentance. He is All-Compassionate.” (4:16)

The fact that these “men” in charge call rape adultery and do not even punish the other party (rapists get off Scott free or even get to marry their victims) in the act is blatant evidence of their extreme misogyny and lack of understanding of the religion of Islam.

Because of this severely skewed sense of “justice” rape has sky-rocketed in the offending countries.

International rape scale

According to the Archives of Women’s Health study Violence Against Women in South Asian Countries:

“The Human Rights Commission of Pakistan (HRCP) found a sharp rise in cases of rape over the decade with estimates suggesting that for every two hours, one woman was raped somewhere in the country. Other reports suggested the figure could be far higher, given that many instances of rape are never reported [understandably], as a result of social [and legal] pressures. Incidents of abusive incest and rape within marriage are also said to be common although most occur in a hidden form in the society.”

Why?

These governments and “scholars” twist and distort Islam till it is unrecognizable. But the question is why? What do they gain?

They step on the rights of women to gain political power, using rape and humiliation as a tool. One notable example is General Zia of Pakistan who gained his political power through systematic oppression of women, as can be seen in his introduction of the 1979 Hudood ruling.

Rahat Imran writes in an essay, Islamic Laws, Gender Discrimination, and Legal Injustices, that:

“Zia used the ‘women card’ as the first and most obvious symbol for his Islamization plan, knowing that a large majority of the male population of the country would have little problem in digesting its implementation […] because the law not only serves the purpose of terrorizing and subjugating women, but also resolves critical and controversial issues like proving rape in the court of law in men’s favor”

This and other grabs for power at the expense of women’s rights, like the Ayatollah Khomeini’s “Islamic” revolution, paved the way for future oppression of women under the guise of Islam.

Today the torch of violence against and subjugation of women in “Islamic” countries has been handed down to the likes of the Taliban who burn the flame brightly to the detriment of all. 

What can we do?

It is time we pull the rug out from underneath these “men” who rule on false claims of Islam.

The first thing we need to do is understand the truth. Learn the reality of Islam and not the version that has been bought and sold by governments and/or people seeking power.

Then we MUST educate those around you.

And call these corrupt rulers and law makers out on their heinous crimes against humanity and God. Where ever you see oppression done in the name of Islam, speak up. It is your duty.

#TakeBackIslam