Sacrifice, Thy Name Is Mr. Sheep

Sacrifice, Thy Name Is Mr. Sheep

by Corbin ♥ 31 Comments

qurbani heading2

Written by Theresa Corbin

This past weekend was Eid Al-Adha, a religious holiday for Muslims at the end of the pilgrimage to Mecca, where each family sacrifices an animal (the qurbani-which is to be consumed and given to family, neighbors and in charity) in memory of Abraham’s sacrifice and success. More about Eid Al-Adha here.

Our sacrifice for last year’s Eid Al-Adha was interesting to say the least. It all began with a Craigslist ad, like many interesting journeys do. In past years my husband and I had always purchased our qurbani (the sacrificial animal) with a group of other Muslims through the mosque who had arrangements with local farmers. Then a group of brothers would volunteer (which usually included my husband) to go to the local farm and take care of the slaughter, the butchering and the delivery of the meat.

However this year in particular (2013) we were in a new city with no such group qurbani purchase or band of brothers taking care of business. We were on our own. And since my husband has first-hand knowledge of farming (dad owns a farm), butchering and Islamic slaughtering practices, we thought-foolishly-why not DIY the Eid al-Adha experience.

Side note: before we get our knickers in a knot, most of us here eat meat. And in the West the process of getting meat to table is not one many like to think about, but it is a fact of life. In Islam kindness to animals is stressed. Cruelty to animals is a grave sin and even the feelings of animals are to be considered. In an Islamic slaughter, the animal to be slaughtered must be raised free from cruelty, have reached a mature age and be healthy. Muslims are enjoined to slaughter their livestock by cutting the animal’s carotid artery, jugular vein and wind pipe in a swift and merciful manner, with a sharp knife, saying in the name of God. The animal must not be shown the knife or made to watch another animal being slaughtered, as this will cause distress for the animal.

So, once we assured the reputable nature of the sheep seller and eventually the sale of the sheep, the problem of transport became apparent. How does one get a fully-grown male sheep, ram, whatever, complete with horns that can easily bust through Toyota’s toughest car windows, from farm to home? How does one not get pulled over by the police when transporting said horn welding animal? Very carefully and with lots of dua (supplication)-that’s how!

Perhaps it takes a ram to transport a ram
Perhaps it takes a ram to transport a ram

Mr. Sheep was upset that he didn’t get shot gun (tasteless pun unintended) and spent the 45 minute trip from rural Louisiana to our suburban home making a spectacle out of himself. And no threats of being grounded from TV helped the situation.

We arrived at our home free from incident by the grace of God. And we put out water for the fellow, hoping he would calm down after a cool drink. He did not.

Mr. Sheep ran around the backyard like me trying to find my terrified way out of a crowded and germ laden Chuck E Cheese. Poor guy was scared, so we left him alone for a few minutes to settle down. He did not. As soon as we stepped outside, Mr. Sheep chased my husband, horns first, through the yard around the tree and into the one sad dilapidated bush. I played my role of disapproving adult complete with hands on hip as I watched the procession before me. We must have looked like a rural version of the three stooges.

Eventually Mr. Sheep settled down and laid down right in front of my husband. This is where I started freaking out. I had never witnessed an animal being slaughtered and I was super sure that it was going to be scarring. I am not squeamish at the sight of blood (as I have in a past life worked in a dialysis clinic). I am, however, squeamish at the sight of suffering (Can’t stomach any of the Saw movies).

But as if by some miracle, Mr. Sheep accepted his fate and laid still and silent until he was gone. It was strangely a peaceful experience. We sat in sadness and silence once the deed was done. We missed Mr. Sheep’s antics, thanked God for providing us with food and Mr. Sheep for his sacrifice. Side note part deux: bringing the process of food acquisitioning closer to home has made me so much more thankful for the food I eat.

mr sheep

By this point it was dark, and as any successful hunter knows, you gotta get ‘er done and fast, butchering that is. I held the flash light on the meat as my husband taught me how to properly prepare an animal for consumption–if ever I were in a survival situation and there was no way to order pizza, the horror!

Now we could only hope and pray that our neighbors wouldn’t venture into their backyards and glimpse over the fence and see what to an outsider might look like a gruesome crime scene. They didn’t. Thank God. I can only imagine the police officer responding to a call of devil worship and meeting us as we try to explain Eid and Islam and halal slaughter practices.

In all honesty we were probably violating some kind of zoning issue. Which reminded me of an episode of Duck Dynasty where Jase does this very same thing but in his FRONT yard as a school bus full of children drives by. I am not a fan of being compared to rednecks, but I guess if it walks, talks, and lives in the same state as the Duck Dynasty …

Finally the meat was cut and stored, and we called it an eventful day.
But Mr. Sheep’s legacy wasn’t finished. Two days later a serious looking rash appeared on my husband’s arm. He contracted a common butcher’s disease known as Erysipeloid from Mr. Sheep’s wool (because tough guys don’t need gloves, right?. WRONG!). And for a week he had to get shots to rid Mr. Sheep’s legacy from our lives.

When all was said and done we had to admit that ambition (reads lack of preparation) and bravery (reads foolhardy-ness) doesn’t make for effective pioneers, even though we might delude ourselves in to thinking it does.

This year’s sacrifice? We went to MuslimAid.org instead of Craigslist.org.

 

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5 Tasty Cookies for Eid

5 Tasty Cookies for Eid

by gracielawrence ♥ 4 Comments

apron 3

Written by Gracie Lawrence
There are many kinds of multicultural foods that span borders and cultures. Cookies are one of them. It seems natural, bite sized with various textures and add-ins, the variations are limitless. Some of us never deviate from family traditions, cookie recipes past down from generations and other of us are more like cookie connoisseurs, experimenting from one titillating recipe to the next.

Many converts from Christianity have memories of making cookies and dessert bars during holidays to share with neighbors, family and friends. Sometimes they are gifted in festive decorative tin containers and other times just in simple plates. It was a good way to bond with others and improve fellowship and community. It still is.

This Eid whether you are preparing for your traditional celebration with family or if this is your first one with friends, consider the cookie as the crunchy or chewy addition to your holiday plans.

Introducing 5 tasty cookies for Eid

1. Frosted Sugar Cookies

Soft and sweet with a mild buttery taste. These cookies are always popular because they are fun to cut into various shapes and decorate with frosting, candy coated sprinkles or small candies. Combine both the artist and chef within and spread the holiday cheer with this fun cookie classic. Check out this blogger’s version below.


sugarcookies edit

2. Shortbread with Nuts

Whether you call them Mexican Wedding Cookies, Snowballs or Russian Tea Cakes we all know what you mean. Tender, rolled in white powdered sugar and made rich by the addition of pecans or other nut of your choice, these cookies are a hit with young and old alike. Other cultures also have their own version of this cookie and with something this tasty, it shouldn’t be a surprise. May we also recommend the the Middle East version of this cookie, Ghraybeh which incorporates the aroma of rose water and crunch of pistachios. Click the picture below for details.

Ghraybeh edit

3. Jam thumbprint cookies

Variations of jams and the shimmering effect it has against the buttery crumb foundation is both a visual and tasty delight. Have fun deciding which kind of fruit to incorporate and don’t forget to pair it with the tea of your choice. The Swedish version called Rosenmunnar is both delicate and sweet. For the recipe, click below.

jelly cookies

4. Chocolate Cookies

Chocolate is definitely a flavor enjoyed more in some cultures than others; however, for those raised with this aromatic, slightly bitter spice made from cacao seeds it is both comfort and addiction wrapped with a neat and sometimes sticky bow. Check out this interesting addition to your recipe collection below- Chocolate Afghan Cookies from New Zealand.

chocolate

5. Coconut Macaroons

There are so many varieties of this cookie where this exotic fruit of the tropics is showcased. Some prefer these macaroons made with sweetened condensed milk, others prefer the light egg white version and others have no preference as long as it is dipped in chocolate. We invite you to try this North African variety known for its tender light crunch below.

coconut

Cookies, whatever the variety, can be enjoyed from the very beginning, starting with your creativity in the kitchen, prepared thoughtfully alone or with family, and finally enjoyed with thanks and smiles as they are received with open hands and warm greetings during this Eid holiday.

giraffe-hug 1

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Let’s Go to War

Let’s Go to War

by gracielawrence ♥ 8 Comments

bomb edit

written by Gracie Lawrence

As long as war has been profitable (always), interested parties have played the differences and misunderstandings between Eastern and Western culture to their maximum advantage. Conveniently separated either by sea or ocean, it is easy for both sides to believe what is told about each other- to perpetuate mysteries that they see as not only foreign, but threatening, a force that wishes to interfere and must be kept within its exotic boundaries.

And what is interesting is that BOTH SIDES….yes, both the East and West do this with their own people for the same reason:

To rally and to control (think “We are number 1” generally a call right before it’s @ss kicking time folks)

Football fervor: I get it...you don't mess with Packer fans.
Football fervor: I get it…you don’t mess with Packer fans.

Why do we let them do this to us? Maybe at some intrinsically basic level it just feels good. To continue to revel in the comfort of our misinformation and to perpetuate it does benefit us psychological in more than one way.

It grants us a sense of relief regarding our present state

Example of things I have actually heard: Thank God I live here…phew…property taxes are crazy, but those people like to stone each other to death over there (Western) or Sure unemployment is at 50%, but those Westerners they have no sense of shame and just screw each other’s sisters (Eastern).

It reaffirms our own decisions and life choices

Example: Easter mass is so peaceful, I am so glad I have Christ in my life- those Muslim brutes just like to kill each other over there (Western) or Listen to that athan, maybe I am under “insert oppressive regime”, but I am so glad to be Muslim- those Westerns are a godless misguided people (Eastern).

It enhances our sense of superiority

Example: My Country/Race/Religion is truly the best (And by default that makes me pretty awesome… even if I really haven’t accomplished much personally otherwise).

This isn’t good people.

This hurts us, all of us. It leads to complacency, the enemy of growth. It leads to ignorance, the friend of elitism and racism. It leads to bombs and fallen towers and orphans and widows.

In the end we are all human. We have similar needs and wants. We all want our children to be safe. We all want to give our family good food and comfort. We all want the potential to prosper and achieve.  When we look across the pond at the other side and decided that they (the others) are not really people, but evil or monsters- what we are also suggesting is that they do not deserved to be treated like people either.

And that is exactly what the war mongers want.

Let’s not give it to them.

beach path edit 1

 

No excuses guys, no excuses.

Respect Me, Don’t Objectify Me

Respect Me, Don’t Objectify Me

by ssiam ♥ 35 Comments
why do women cover
graphic by Nicole Elmasry

Written by Stephanie Siam

When I started wearing hijab about 10 years ago (more or less), I did it out of sense of duty to Allah.

I believed – and still do – that Allah commands us to dress modestly and appear a certain way in public or in front of non-mahram (non-familial) males. Since I was new to Islam, I wasn’t completely aware of the injunctions he also placed on men to dress and behave in their own form of modesty. I’ve since learned that – shockingly! – men, too, must dress appropriately when in public or around non-mahram women. We can save the societal double-standards discussion for another day.

As any new hijabi knows, it takes a while to get the hang of wrapping yourself in a scarf every day. I’m not talking about the temperature. I’m not even referring to the mental fortitude one must develop to go out in public dressed extremely different than the cultural norms of society (depending on where you’re from).

I’m talking about the literal act of wrapping the hijab. Not getting it to fall off. Or choke you. Or look like you took a giant curtain and twisted it around your head. Or just gave up and piled a bunch of material on top. Or – my personal favorite – like you stuffed your head in a pillowcase and cinched it so tight your cheeks turn purple.

As time passed, I became more accustomed to the art of scarf-wrapping. In fact, I can now do it without looking in the mirror – an amazing feat, if you ask me.

Still, there comes a time when, despite my attempts at keeping everything covered the way it should, the scarf shifts and a bit of (ah!) sin skin peeks out. On these rare occasions, I usually have my reliable husband around to say, ever-so-bluntly, “Your meat is showing.”

My meat.

And, once again, I realize even though I’ve taken care to display the most modest appearance possible (for me), I’m still taking the chance someone might get a glimpse and ogle me. All at once, I am relegated to the display case in a butcher shop. Something men can stare at, drool over (yeah, okay) and decide whether to take home or skip over.

While I do my best to remind the hubs that it’s called “skin” and not “meat”, and that I’m not a piece of it, when I see others making ridiculous comparisons between women who wear hijab and those who don’t, I do my best to change the discourse. Or at least draw attention to the oversimplification and objectification that such comparisons promote.

Case in Point:

While doing my work scanning Facebook the other day, I came across the following cartoon that had been posted on a Christian/Muslim debate page by Sara Hassan Walid.

women are apples now?
women are apples now?

Beneath her post was the question: “Make sense now?”

I read the cartoon several times before I finally responded: “No, it doesn’t make sense. Who covers apples, anyway?”

At the time, I was just making a statement. I didn’t realize why the cartoon so badly rubbed me the wrong way. Was it the colors? The word choice? The over-patriarchal man dressed in what looks like his sleeping gown and slippers? Finally, it occurred to me.

In all sincerity, the whole cartoon makes it seem like men have devised this way of concealing something of importance (I would’ve chosen something more precious….like a diamond, as per usual). However, wearing hijab is not something men came up with to protect and conceal things. Hijab is a commandment of Allah, and He decreed it as protection from unwanted advances and for modesty purposes.

The cartoon nearly comes to the point of having men claim ownership of the idea of hijab. Astigfur Allah!

Next, and probably most glaringly, the tactic of comparing modesty to an apple is ridiculous. First, there is no direct connection. Second, it simplifies the beauty and ultimate purpose of the hijab. Third, an apple can be washed off if it gets physically dirty, as can a person. However, hijab does not prevent a person from getting spiritually dirty (sinning) any more than a cloth keeps an apple from rotting on the inside. The whole analogy is just…….

In other such cartoons, the comparison has been between women and pearls or diamonds (or other precious items). At least this is slightly more connected. The purpose in covering a diamond is to protect it from….jealousy, coveting, theft (a more synonymous analogy, albeit still personally offensive).

But the purpose in covering fruit is to keep it clean, right? To stop it from spoiling?

My problem with the analogy is not that it encourages hijab. It’s the insinuations:

1) Men “cover their women”. Men don’t do this. Sure, some men do out of jealousy or control issues — but the commandment to cover comes from Allah, not man. This cartoon plays into the stereotype that Muslim men “make their wives cover”. This is wrong.

2) “Covering an apple” (or diamond, as previously stated) would be to keep it clean. Now, it’s just plain naive to think wearing hijab keeps a woman “clean” (sinless, pure, modest, chaste … whatever you want to associate “clean” with). And it’s offensive to say that just because a woman doesn’t wear hijab means she’ll be “dirty”. This analogy feeds into the stereotype that men “pick” women based on cleanliness (purity, virginity, sinlessness (?!?!), demureness). Well, shouldn’t this go both ways? Where is the cartoon about a Christian woman (as this cartoon is labeled Christian vs. Muslim debate) asking a Muslim woman why they “make their men wear long beards” or “make their men wear thobes (Islamic dresses for men) to the ankles”?

The problem with the whole cartoon is that it feeds into stereotypes … stereotypes, in fact, that cause people to dislike Islam (men controlling women, oppression of women, women are less than men) in general. When these types of cartoons are shared, it propagates the idea that life (especially in the Muslim world) is all about “men choosing (and for) women”. This relegates women, once more, to the position of property and removes their humanity (which happens as it does in any part of the world, but is not an Islamic concept.)

Why can’t the cartoon say:

Man 1: Why do Muslim women cover?

Man 2: Do you ever feel like you’re being judged by the kind of clothes you wear?

Man 1: Sure, doesn’t everybody?

Man 2: Do you ever feel like you have to dress a certain way to impress someone?

Man 1: Sure, doesn’t everybody?

Man 2: Do you ever find yourself dismissing someone simply because of what they look like or because of how they’re dressed?

Man 1: I hate to admit it, but yes.

Man 2: Do you ever have a hard time concentrating because someone is wearing something strange or revealing?

Man 1: Of course.

Man 2: Well, Allah gave Muslims protection against all of this. Hijab is not just an article of clothing. It’s a style of modesty. It’s not just for women, either. Men, too, are expected to dress modestly and behave that way. Muslim women cover because they prefer, instead of being judged for their clothes or trying to impress others with their labels, to be evaluated based on their actions, performance and contributions. But not all Muslim women cover. Just like not all non-Muslim women wear revealing clothing. There are all kinds, brother.

Man 1: That’s given me a lot to think about. Thank you for explaining it to me. The next time I see a covered women, I’ll remember that.

convo
graphic by Nicole Elmasry

Isn’t that a better conversation? It asks specific questions, clarifies purpose and intent, and also spreads positive knowledge about Islam and modesty.

Maybe I’m taking this way out of proportion. However, the cartoon rubbed me the wrong way (as you can obviously tell), and I try very hard to spread positive images and positive knowledge about Islam to non-Muslims and fellow believers alike. Not because I think I know more, but because I think there is more to the discussion than the trite explanation given in a two-line exchange. (exhale)

Bottom line, hijab is more than just a cover. And women are more than just objects that need to be “kept clean”.

Oh … and just for a final blow … I can’t stand the image of the non-Muslim man.

It looks like someone photoshopped a banana out of his hand. Like he was walking by, eating a banana, and asked this question — which prompted the answer using the analogy of fruit.

And, in any matter, if the writer HAD to use fruit … a banana would’ve been better.

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Take Back Islam: “Honor” Killing is Murder Part II

Take Back Islam: “Honor” Killing is Murder Part II

by Corbin ♥ 13 Comments
Honor does not include murder
graphic by Nicole Elmasry

Written by Theresa Corbin

In my previous post I wrote about how ridiculous is it to claim that “honor” killings are Islamic (Part I here) when they are in fact murder. The whole time I was writing I kept thinking: talk about the victims, tell their stories and speak out for their justice. I felt I would be remiss if I didn’t challenge the perpetrators of their murders. I wonder if the lives of these women could have been saved if their families really knew what Islam dictated, instead of their culture.

Would they be alive and happy today if only their families knew?

Forced into marriage

Would Shafilea Ahmed’s  parents still have murdered her  “because she failed to conform to their wishes for an arranged marriage and she allegedly ‘brought shame’ on the family” if they had known that Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: “A woman without a husband (or divorced or a widow) must not be married until she is consulted”?  (Sahih Muslim)

Would she be alive today if her parents had only read the Quran 4:19 “O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will […]”

Or would it not have made any difference to their egos?

Choosing her own husband

Would Saba Maqsood still have been shot for marrying a man she loved if her family had been reminded that a woman has the right to choose her husband, as Khadija choose Muhammad (pbuh) and as many other female companions of the Prophet (pbuh) chose their husband?

Would the family of Saba still feel justified in their crimes against her if they had heard the hadith about a woman who  “came to the Prophet, (pbuh), and mentioned that her father had married her against her will, so the Prophet, (pbuh), allowed her to exercise her choice.” ? (Abu Dawud)

Or would they have still allowed cultural dictates to cloud their judgement?

Accused without evidence

"Honor" Killing

graphic by Nicole Elmasry

Would Ayah Ibrahim, still be with us if her uncle who imagined an inappropriate relationship between her and her fiance would have known that accusing women without evidence is a huge sin?

Would Ayah be married to her betrothed today if her suspicious uncle had read this verse of the Quran: “Indeed, those who [falsely] accuse chaste, unaware and believing women are cursed in this world and the Hereafter; and they will have a great punishment” 24:23?

Would her uncle have even cared?

Getting a divorce

Would Mona Mahajneh‘s brother still have shot her if he had known divorce is perfectly acceptable, if he had read one word about divorce in the Quran, if he had known the Prophet himself legitimized divorces between couples and even married a woman name Zaynab bint Jahsh who was divorced?

Would Mona still have been shot in front of her son if her brother wasn’t only concerned about cultural mores that only value a woman based on her virginity?

Being raped

Would the unnamed 10 year old Afghani rape victim still have to fear being killed by her family if they weren’t so horrifyingly ignorant, if they knew that it is the rapist that should suffer the death penalty and not the victim?

Would she have had a chance to heal from her attack if her culture was able to see her as a whole human being and not just a hymen?

I wonder if her father had been the one raped, would he find himself guilty of being impure and call for his own murder?

Having an inappropriate relationship

And would all the women who have been murdered for having a relationship with a man before marriage (real or imagined by family members), would they still be alive if their families had known that flirting, kissing, and even fornicating are not actions punishable by death? Would these women still be alive if their fathers, brothers, uncles were educated even a little bit in Islam and not so much in culture?

Would knowing the following hadith have changed their minds?: When a man approached the Prophet after having kissed a woman, seeking forgiveness and guidance.  God revealed to the Prophet the following  verse: “‘And perform the prayers, between the two ends of the day and in some hours of the night. Verily, the good deeds efface the evil deeds,’ (11:114). The man asked the Messenger of God ﷺ if the revelation of this verse applied only to his situation. The Messenger of God responded, ‘It applies to all my ummah [nation of Muslims around the world, male and female].’” (Bukhari)

Or would they still have clung to a false and paranoid idea of “honor”?

No honor in Murder
graphic by Nicole Elmasry

…

Would any of these women be victims today had their  family members truly known what Islam dictates? Or would cruel and irrational cultural practices have won out in the end anyway? Islam came to free us from these backwards, ignorant and evil practices, but still we find that many cling to culture over Islam, and still more claim their culture is Islam. In this willful ignorance women suffer, are murdered and are living in fear for no reason other than power plays, appearances, and egotism.

No more! It is time we educate ourselves and our families. It is time we pry culture away from Islam and know the difference, and know those who wish to abuse power falsely in it’s name. It is time we stop hiding behind culture and admit when wrong is wrong. It is time to expose the truth, save lives, and end these ignorant and detrimental practices. It is well past time to #TakeBackIslam

…

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Take Back Islam: “Honor” Killing is Murder Part I

Take Back Islam: “Honor” Killing is Murder Part I

by Corbin ♥ 30 Comments

honor-crime

 Treat women well and be kind to them

-Muhammad’s last advice to his nation

Written by Theresa Corbin

As I became an adult, I started to see that porn, strip clubs and hook-ups are the norm for most men. I came to understand that many men see women’s bodies only as tools to obtain pleasure (not true of all men of course).

So it was not much of a surprise to me in my pre-Islam days when many of my male “Muslim” acquaintances would engage in much of the same behavior. I learned about how sons are patted on the back for promiscuity when one  such “Muslim” acquaintance was paid a visit from his family. Upon being discovered sneaking into his home at a late hour, he was greeted with an attaboy from his father when it became clear that he (the son) had been out “hooking-up”.

Months after this interaction with his father, my “Muslim” friend was praising his sister back home. He spoke about how she had married young and was such a good girl and so on. Thinking back to his attaboy for being a womanizer, I asked if his family would be ok with her even if she had behaved in the same manner as he did.

The hypocrite in question flew into a rage, without any amount of exaggeration said he would kill her himself if she ever acted like that, and warned me never to talk about her like that again.

This was my first heart breaking introduction into the injustice of honor crimes.

At the time not knowing much about any culture or religion other than my own (American, former Catholic, agnostic at the time), I had to begin the difficult process of unpacking the cultural practice of honor killing from Islam.

Allow me, if you will, to explain in the most honest terms what an honor killing is. It is a heinous practice that predates Islam and is inherited from Hinduism, Roman Law, and other archaic systems that postulate that a woman’s worth lies in her sexuality and its usefulness to male family members. In honor killings male family members claim ownership over female bodies and take it upon themselves to murder them over matters of chastity and “inappropriate” relationships all to spare the family the “shame” of gossip.

Anne Boleyn lost her head because of rumors
Anne Boleyn lost her head because of rumors

The practice of honor killing is a long and dishonorable tradition around the world.

Perhaps the most memorable case of an honor killing was when Henry the VIII beheaded his wife, Anne Boleyn, for suspicion and rumors of adultery. He also murdered another of his wives, Catherine Howard, for the same suspicion. But this is lesser know.

But honor killings are most often associated with Islam for two reasons

1.) Because the media and leading Islamophobes have inaccurately painted a picture about how these crimes are always committed by Muslims, ignoring the fact that victims come from many different cultures and religions.

2.) Because, yet again, some Muslims prove Islamophobes and the media’s narrative correct. They mistake their archaic, brutal and backward cultural practices as Islam, when they in fact have nothing to do with Islam.

I feel like I have said this a million times, but the fact is that cultural, tribal, and local traditions often conflict with Islamic teachings. And people, in their ignorance, arrogance or whatever, cling to their traditions and wrongly call it Islam. Just because a Muslim does it, does not make it Islamic!

A major hindrance in understanding the horror of honor killings is the misunderstanding of the punishment for zina (adultery)

The capital punishment of adultery (sex with someone you are not married to while you are married or divorced) is not due to any “honor.” In fact, it is applicable to both men and women and only intended to establish social justice; to prevent disease, broke baby mommas, starving and fatherless children, and all the emotional turmoil that comes along with adultery.  

A case of adultery must be proven with strict eye-witness evidence in a court of law and left up to the judge to forgive or punish. It is SO hard to prove adultery that the capital punishment has only ever legitimately been implemented in cases where the adulterer repeatedly confessed (without coercion). Therefore it is considered a deterrent rather than a harsh penalty.

It is also important to understand that in the Muslim World today, shar’ia (Islamic law) is practiced crudely, and far away from the objectives and intentions of shari’a as it was practiced by Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and many generations after him. “Muslim” countries today see it only as a series punishments to keep those without money or power “in line”. They do not see it for what it is: a comprehensive system that first teaches its citizens, deters them from corrupt behavior, upholds social justice and forgives and offers excuses before it ever punishes. 

Under no circumstances can a family carry out capital punishment. In the event such a killing happens, it is a considered murder and the murderer needs to be punished by the judge. From Muslim Matters

Gossip, slander and small mindedness. Oh MY!

gossip is an activity of small minded people
small minds discuss people

Honor killing has very little to do with societal justice and balance or even adultery.  Honor killing has to do with the family unit fearing gossip.

In honor killings the family is on a witch hunt and acts as judge, jury, and executioner that does not admit evidence, only regards appearances in their community, tribe, or sewing circle.

What did the Prophet (PBUH) do when the chastity of his wife, Aisha, was brought into question? He did not accuse her, he did not fear people talking about him, he waited for proof to be established.

Aisha was innocent of the rumor and because of the emotional turmoil she suffered from the slander, the following verse was revealed in the Quran “Verily, those who accuse chaste women […] are cursed in this life and in the Hereafter, and for them will be a great torment” [al-Noor 24:23].

Honor? Really!?

Anatomy of "Honor"
Anatomy of “Honor”

Islamically speaking we are all responsible for our own honor. If honor was a family enterprise, Abraham- God’s Khalil (dear friend)-would have been dishonored by his father’s idol worship- a sin that is far worse than adultery. But we know that this is not true. And even still if “honor” killing was truly about the honor of the family, why do we not see male victims? Does it not take two?

Is it that men have no honor to begin with? Is it that men are so weak and slutty that we cannot even bother with keeping them morally in line? Of course not, as we see in Islam men are told to be modest, not to ogle, or have inappropriate relationships just as much as women are told these things.  But culture so rarely holds men to the same standard that they hold women to.

Ownership

In combination with the fear of gossip, honor crimes are a function of some men’s deluded feeling that they have ownership over female bodies. I hate to break this news to the head of the tribe–Islam freed women from being thought of as property over 1400 years ago. I guess the news is slow to get to them in their caves. Furthermore, men do not even own their own bodies (if we had ownership over our bodies, would we allow them to age or get sick?). We belong to Allah not to each other. Quran 2:156 […]”say, ‘Indeed we belong to Allah , and indeed to Him we will return.'”

And are we supposed to believe that being a murderer is more honorable that being related to someone who may or may not have had an inappropriate relationship with a man?

When women are murdered for seeking a divorce (divorce is completely acceptable in Islam); being raped (the rapist is the one who should be put down); for refusing an arranged marriage (forced marriages are not allowed in Islam); and even sitting next to a man (not a sin in the least!!), how can anyone claim this has anything to do with Islam? How can we sit by and not tell the truth that these women were terrorized and murdered for nothing more than ego?

I recognize that violence, murder and abuse are perpetrated within non-Muslim families in the West. It happens A LOT, unfortunately. My writing about the topic is not to say that the Western world is free from hate crimes committed against women. Not by a long shot. The Western world has its own glaring issues when it comes to the proper treatment of women and prosecuting crimes against them.

But this is not a game of pointing fingers. Get over yourself if that is your first reaction. My writing on this topic is to take the legitimacy of Islam away from those who commit these crimes against my sisters and point out blatant ignorance and backward cultural malarky that MUST be stopped.

Check out Part II where I destroy reasons people claim committing murder in the name of “honor” is Islamic.

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My Sister is a Muslim Convert

My Sister is a Muslim Convert

by Corbin ♥ 14 Comments

One of my best friends is my (not much) younger sister, Eileen. She is sarcastic, feisty, and nearly identical in personality to me except that we took very different paths in life. During our daily sessions of avoiding work and texting each other funny stories she got roped into was gracious enough to be forced agree to contribute to islamwich, giving her perspective of my conversion to Islam. What follows is her story. The names have not been changed because no one was ever innocent.

Written by Eileen Corbin Southam

eileenI am the proud sister of a Muslim convert, but it wasn’t always that way.

Let me take a step back and tell you a little bit about me and my family.  I grew up in a crazy household in southeast Louisiana containing 3 sisters, one much older brother, a sometimes half-brother, one mom, and one dad.

My mother was a staunch Roman Catholic and my father was something of an atheist so we were raised Roman Catholic. I mean we were raised Catholic in that we went to Catholic school, attended mass minimally every Sunday, and prayed the rosary before we traveled to protect us from harm to give a few examples.

It was a strict upbringing that instilled a strong sense of guilt in me (feeling it and dishing it out – takes one to know one) and a great amount of respect for traditions and trusted adults. However, I am no longer Catholic and quite resistant to senseless authority as a result, and neither is one of my siblings as she is now Muslim.

I remember my sister converting to Islam in such a slow fashion that it was surprising but not all that surprising either. Let me say that my sister and I are close, very close, so I guess it wasn’t surprising to me because I was present for the conversion itself but at the same time, I just didn’t get it.

My sister was rooming with a friend who converted to Islam and had a ton of friends from the Middle East while she was in college.  We were both exposed to the culture including their religion. I remember hanging out with my sister and seeing all of the artifacts including excerpts from the Quran and thinking that they were beautiful and artistic and different from anything I had seen in all of my 17 years of existence. I listened to their explanations but didn’t really think too much of it.

I remember thinking to myself upon the explanation of Mecca and that resistant side of me coming through, “Ha, no one is going to tell me I have to trek somewhere to pray at least once in my life, puh-lease … unless it’s Paris.”

I thought she was going through a phase. I had been here before with her many a times and I gathered this too shall pass. Turns out I was wrong… well I guess after 13 years it could still be a phase; only time will tell. I will illustrate through the 5 stages of grief how I processed and ultimately came to terms with my sister’s conversion to Islam

Stage 1 – Denial:

It’s not happening, it’s not happening

My dear sister has the worst timing. She has genius comedic timing but overall her timing sucks. She “decided” to convert to Islam shortly after 9/11 happened. I know this wasn’t her choice but her timing sucked. She enjoys not only being different (always has, always will) but also being difficult. When she first converted, as I mentioned before, I thought it was a phase so I didn’t think much of it hence denial.

Stage 2 – Anger:

Shortly after her announcement that she was becoming a Muslim, I was planning my wedding. I had asked my sister to be one of my bridesmaids in my wedding and the dress (not in adherence of her new religious sanctions) was already purchased and altered. She kindly asked if she could not be in the wedding and I refused to accept that.

Did I mention I’m very stubborn and difficult at times which are most of the times. She is a good sister and did me this solid. To this day I regret forcing her to do something that she didn’t feel comfortable with but this was all so new to us and I just didn’t get it at that point.

Stage 3 – Bargaining:

Oh did I mention that my sister also decided to participate in an arranged marriage? Well, she was ready to settle down and in accordance with the customs of Islam she decided to start the process of setting herself up to have an arranged marriage. She told me she was to wed a man with a similar background in that he was an American Muslim convert from the same area that we were raised in.

I beg her not to go this way because he could be a serial killer (jury’s still out) and that she could come live with me. Suffice to say, she married him any way and they are still together after 12 years.  Who’d have thunk.

Stage 4 – Depression:

What will I do now that my sister is a Muslim?! Woah is me! *Somewhere sister  rolls eyes*

This was a brief and selfish period of the process but didn’t I mention I was stubborn and difficult? This was my sister that was my best friend growing up and now I felt we were going in different directions. I was no longer religious but it was hard to relate to her interests now.

We use to be very much into singing and acting and she didn’t do that stuff anymore. I didn’t feel like we could discuss fashion or food (did I also forget to mention I am the #1 bacon fan of the world and thoroughly enjoy a cocktail and/or a glass of wine) or anything we use to be able to discuss because I was being closed-minded and selfish. Luckily, this was a very brief period when I figured out quickly how silly I had become.

Stage 5 – Acceptance:

We have discussed so much of my sister’s religion over the last decade or so and I feel like I have a pretty good outsider’s perspective on her faith. I even took a History of Religion course in college to have a better grasp during our discussion because I refuse to look a fool in front of her by asking silly questions that I use to ask i.e. how do you not pass out from heat exhaustion during summers in the south with all those clothes on? Or, do you have a love hate relationship with strong breezes like I do? Or, don’t you miss bacon? ( I really do love bacon – I know pigs are gross)

 

A terrible pic of us that not even photoshop could save

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