written by Kaighla Um Dayo
Ladies and Gentlemen, have I got an excellent deal for you! But Hurry! It’s only for a limited time. Act now and don’t miss out on this incredible offer!!
How would you like to leave your current religious community and join mine, for free? Our community is made up of only the best-quality people.
Imagine how you’d feel in THIS beautiful religious community! No more broken hearts, no more frayed nerves. Bye bye frustrating unanswered questions! Sayonara, pew-brain!
You can kiss those pesky fellows good-bye, because in my 100% certified authentic religious community, there are absolutely no fillers, no artificial people, and no annoying preserved traditions!
And if you act fast, we’ll even throw in a tacky hijab or kufi AND a poorly-translated Quran, all for FREE, but only today!
No, But Seriously