Written by Theresa Corbin

As a Muslim lady on the Facebook (heretofore known as fb) and an American convert at that (green card, anyone?), it seems that brothers of lesser morals peg me as easy fb prey. These rejects, have in the past, gotten their face ripped off- Beware the Corbin when she is protecting her privacy and haya!! Terrible tales can be told of the snarky, bugger off messages I have written in days gone by (it’s fun but not always effective, as you will learn in this post).

I am by NO means alone in the Muslim brother creeper* situation.

It is an unfortunate epidemic.

 Brother Creeper– (n.) A creeper who is also Muslim man-boy. This creature stalks your fb profile because he sees that you are a Muslim … and a female … with a pulse. Regardless of your marital status (he has no respect for himself, so why should he have respect for you, your husband, or your marriage) he sends friend requests repeatedly and PMs you endlessly.

You might be thinking, why don’t you just not friend guys. DUH! Why didn’t I think of that (rolls eyes)?

p.s. stop victim blaming! If a sister chooses to friend men on fb, does that mean she should be blamed for harassment? NO! Many sisters add dudes and many don’t (FYI: I don’t). It is a personal choice and should be respected.

But those brothers who are friends with sisters on fb will often creep around trying to friend the friends of their friends. Confused yet? It is simple. Weirdos are stalking sisters on fb. Even if you reject their request to be friends they will pm you all damn day long.

It is a problem. Sisters are even driven to such extremes as to change their fb pics to a graphic that says something to the tune of: brothers don’t add me!! And they still post that brothers are harassing them.

You can have your fb privacy setting so high that not even you can see your info, posts, or pics, and they will still find you.

I know that not every sister is battle hardened, and can spot a creeper a deal with him (know-how comes with time, but there is no time to waste).  So I have compiled a list of types of creepers, their bag of tricks, and what to do when one is face-to-face with one in the wild.

FB creepers: know your creepers and how to repel them.

The Lurker

Signs you might have a lurker: This guy continues to friend request you and PM you. Only says “hi” or similar greeting. You keep declining the request and don’t respond to the PMs, but he persists. If this is your only creeper problem, you are in luck. This guy can’t take a hint, probably only knows “hi” in English, but he is generally harmless.

Rx: Ignore! And continue to Ignore.  If you try to talk to him and say go away, it will only get worse. He will go away like an ant when there is no more food in the pantry if you resist the urge to respond.

The Manipulator

He sends random PMs saying something along the lines of “Stop PM-ing me. I am married!!” This brother creeper is baiting you. He wants you to protest that you don’t know him and have never PM-ed him. And when you do PM him this, bam! He starts a convo about how he is sorry for the confusion … where are you from, sister? … and it spirals out of control from there.

Rx: You can just ignore this brother’s baiting or block him if you are feeling especially annoyed by this tactic. But whatever you do, do. not. re. spond. You will feel a sudden sharp localized pain in your stomach or behind your eye (stay calm! this is just repulsion.) when you read his manipulative message. That is the intended effect. He wants to light a fire under you to spring you into action. IGNORE and block if you can’t stand it.

The Romeo Wannabe

His trick is to try and stroke your ego, complimenting you and sometimes will even offer to marry you. “Oh sister, you are so beautiful. I love what you post. You are so smart. I think we will make a good match.” And other classics like “Oh sister, you are so perfect and funny, will you friend me?” He has told many other sisters these same sorry lines.

Rx: Even though everything he is saying is true, you are gorgeous and smart and funny, do not be flattered. He is telling you something that is obvious to everyone, even if everyone doesn’t take the time to say it. (if you don’t believe this, don’t let your low self-esteem drive you into his trap) Ignore. He will copy and paste the same message to the next sister on his creeper list.

The Undercover Brother

This brother creeper poses as a sister to infiltrate your friend list and your life. It can be hard to tell sometimes whether this creeper

is really a man or a woman, because shim’s profile can be replete with pics of shim’s kids, pics of shimself on vaca. Shim is even friends with many other sisters you know. These pics are stolen and he has tricked your friends as well. Ways to tell if you have undercover brother in your midst: Try to talk about religion. If “she” claims to be a Muslim, but steers the conversation away from this topic, this is a red flag. If “she” asks you to send her pics of you without hijab, run. If “she” asks to video chat and you hardly know “her”, like at all, run. If “she” is waaaaayyy to eager to get you to talk to “her brother” about marriage, you probably have a dude on your hands (wash thoroughly with bleach).

Rx: BLOCK his butt. And plaster his profile all over fb. Warn people that this is really a man posing as a sister.

The Triangulator

This creeper is like the opposite of The Undercover Brother. This creeper is not a brother, but a sister who insists that you get together with this guy she knows. She has friended you, chatted you up, and is now trying to put together a love triangle. She is a triangulator. What the What?! She love long walks on the beach, has an affinity for drama, and  is currently involved with a dude. A dude, for some super creepy reason, that she thinks you should marry and/or otherwise take off of her hands (but she’ll probably want to stay in the picture). This Bee be crazy!!! I cannot say why she wants this because this kind of crazy is so far outside of the normal human’s scope it is hard to even fathom a reason for it.

Rx: Simply refuse to get involved in her drama, she will pitch a fit and curse you out then block you. This will be the best thing she can do for you. Bye, bye crazy lady!

The Shameless

This brother doesn’t care and he is casting a wide net. He may try one or more of the following: Send a very private pic on “accident”. Straight up try to talk to you about sex. Ask for a naked pic of you. Ask you any manner of question that

is between you and your OB-GYN. When he doesn’t get what he wants, he will try to make you feel bad, cursing and insulting you. This “brother” is a plague on society. He has a corrupt heart and needs to be in prison or worse.

Rx: Same as with the undercover brother, but with the added element of reporting him to fb. And if you find out where he lives and that happens to be the US (but he is usually from some nameless country in the near East), see if you can press charges!

You might think that this problem is due to the amount of young brothers trying to get married.

Don’t be naive. There are plenty of good brothers who find respectful ways to go about this. And even the older and married brothers are perpetrators of these crimes and even prey on married women.

You might say boys will be boys

You are a major part of the problem. It is this mentality that let’s men get away with sexual violence, harassment, and all manners of evil that are destroying this world.  Please find a nice cozy spot in traffic and go hang out there during rush hour.

Whatever the cause (male perversion? brother needs a job/hobby/cold showers/castration/death penalty?), don’t let creepers keep you from enjoying social media. It can be used for good! And I would miss you, sister, if you left.

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