Facebook Creepers

Facebook Creepers

Written by Theresa Corbinthey-be-stalking-every-siter-up-in-facebok

As a Muslim lady on the Facebook (heretofore known as fb) and an American convert at that (green card, anyone?), it seems that brothers of lesser morals peg me as easy fb prey. These rejects, have in the past, gotten their face ripped off- Beware the Corbin when she is protecting her privacy and haya!! Terrible tales can be told of the snarky, bugger off messages I have written in days gone by (it’s fun but not always effective, as you will learn in this post).

Corbin can't be bothered
Corbin can’t be bothered

I am by NO means alone in the Muslim brother creeper* situation.

It is an unfortunate epidemic.

 Brother Creeper– (n.) A creeper who is also Muslim man-boy. This creature stalks your fb profile because he sees that you are a Muslim … and a female … with a pulse. Regardless of your marital status (he has no respect for himself, so why should he have respect for you, your husband, or your marriage) he sends friend requests repeatedly and PMs you endlessly.

You might be thinking, why don’t you just not friend guys. DUH! Why didn’t I think of that (rolls eyes)?

p.s. stop victim blaming! If a sister chooses to friend men on fb, does that mean she should be blamed for harassment? NO! Many sisters add dudes and many don’t (FYI: I don’t). It is a personal choice and should be respected.

even if this is your profile pic they will still add you, try to chat with you, stalk you.
even if this is your profile pic they will still add you, try to chat with you, stalk you.

But those brothers who are friends with sisters on fb will often creep around trying to friend the friends of their friends. Confused yet? It is simple. Weirdos are stalking sisters on fb. Even if you reject their request to be friends they will pm you all damn day long.

It is a problem. Sisters are even driven to such extremes as to change their fb pics to a graphic that says something to the tune of: brothers don’t add me!! And they still post that brothers are harassing them.

You can have your fb privacy setting so high that not even you can see your info, posts, or pics, and they will still find you.

I know that not every sister is battle hardened, and can spot a creeper a deal with him (know-how comes with time, but there is no time to waste).  So I have compiled a list of types of creepers, their bag of tricks, and what to do when one is face-to-face with one in the wild.

even creepers need to replenish their electrolytes
even creepers need to replenish their electrolytes

FB creepers: know your creepers and how to repel them.

The Lurker

hi! we can friend be, yes?
hi! we can friend be, yes?

Signs you might have a lurker: This guy continues to friend request you and PM you. Only says “hi” or similar greeting. You keep declining the request and don’t respond to the PMs, but he persists. If this is your only creeper problem, you are in luck. This guy can’t take a hint, probably only knows “hi” in English, but he is generally harmless.

Rx: Ignore! And continue to Ignore.  If you try to talk to him and say go away, it will only get worse. He will go away like an ant when there is no more food in the pantry if you resist the urge to respond.

The Manipulator

He sends random PMs saying something along the lines of “Stop PM-ing me. I am married!!” This brother creeper is baiting you. He wants you to protest that you don’t know him and have never PM-ed him. And when you do PM him this, bam! He starts a convo about how he is sorry for the confusion … where are you from, sister? … and it spirals out of control from there.

Rx: You can just ignore this brother’s baiting or block him if you are feeling especially annoyed by this tactic. But whatever you do, do. not. re. spond. You will feel a sudden sharp localized pain in your stomach or behind your eye (stay calm! this is just repulsion.) when you read his manipulative message. That is the intended effect. He wants to light a fire under you to spring you into action. IGNORE and block if you can’t stand it.

The Romeo Wannabe

His trick is to try and stroke your ego, complimenting you and sometimes will even offer to marry you. “Oh sister, you are so beautiful. I love what you post. You are so smart. I think we will make a good match.” And other classics like “Oh sister, you are so perfect and funny, will you friend me?” He has told many other sisters these same sorry lines.

I do mind
I do mind

Rx: Even though everything he is saying is true, you are gorgeous and smart and funny, do not be flattered. He is telling you something that is obvious to everyone, even if everyone doesn’t take the time to say it. (if you don’t believe this, don’t let your low self-esteem drive you into his trap) Ignore. He will copy and paste the same message to the next sister on his creeper list.

The Undercover Brother

This brother creeper poses as a sister to infiltrate your friend list and your life. It can be hard to tell sometimes whether this creeper

what a mighty thick beard you have, sister
what a mighty thick beard you have, sister

is really a man or a woman, because shim’s profile can be replete with pics of shim’s kids, pics of shimself on vaca. Shim is even friends with many other sisters you know. These pics are stolen and he has tricked your friends as well. Ways to tell if you have undercover brother in your midst: Try to talk about religion. If “she” claims to be a Muslim, but steers the conversation away from this topic, this is a red flag. If “she” asks you to send her pics of you without hijab, run. If “she” asks to video chat and you hardly know “her”, like at all, run. If “she” is waaaaayyy to eager to get you to talk to “her brother” about marriage, you probably have a dude on your hands (wash thoroughly with bleach).

Rx: BLOCK his butt. And plaster his profile all over fb. Warn people that this is really a man posing as a sister.

The Triangulator

This creeper is like the opposite of The Undercover Brother. This creeper is not a brother, but a sister who insists that you get together with this guy she knows. She has friended you, chatted you up, and is now trying to put together a love triangle. She is a triangulator. What the What?! She love long walks on the beach, has an affinity for drama, and  is currently involved with a dude. A dude, for some super creepy reason, that she thinks you should marry and/or otherwise take off of her hands (but she’ll probably want to stay in the picture). This Bee be crazy!!! I cannot say why she wants this because this kind of crazy is so far outside of the normal human’s scope it is hard to even fathom a reason for it.

Rx: Simply refuse to get involved in her drama, she will pitch a fit and curse you out then block you. This will be the best thing she can do for you. Bye, bye crazy lady!

The Shameless

This brother doesn’t care and he is casting a wide net. He may try one or more of the following: Send a very private pic on “accident”. Straight up try to talk to you about sex. Ask for a naked pic of you. Ask you any manner of question that

I am a troll and need to be put down.
I am a troll and need to be put down.

is between you and your OB-GYN. When he doesn’t get what he wants, he will try to make you feel bad, cursing and insulting you. This “brother” is a plague on society. He has a corrupt heart and needs to be in prison or worse.

Rx: Same as with the undercover brother, but with the added element of reporting him to fb. And if you find out where he lives and that happens to be the US (but he is usually from some nameless country in the near East), see if you can press charges!

You might think that this problem is due to the amount of young brothers trying to get married.

Don’t be naive. There are plenty of good brothers who find respectful ways to go about this. And even the older and married brothers are perpetrators of these crimes and even prey on married women.

You might say boys will be boys

You are a major part of the problem. It is this mentality that let’s men get away with sexual violence, harassment, and all manners of evil that are destroying this world.  Please find a nice cozy spot in traffic and go hang out there during rush hour.

Whatever the cause (male perversion? brother needs a job/hobby/cold showers/castration/death penalty?), don’t let creepers keep you from enjoying social media. It can be used for good! And I would miss you, sister, if you left.

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15 thoughts on “Facebook Creepers

  1. Absolute hilarity! Those FB creepers know no bounds. My wife told me of many of these foreigners friending and messaging her and they fell under all of these archetypes. Kinda sucks that a bunch of sad hornball brown guys are ruining FB for the good sisters.

    I am anti-creeper to the fullest extent. Great blog,sis! You are so perfect and funny, wanna friend me on FB? :p

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      1. I don’t have a fb, but I do have a twitter and it is absolutely out of control on there as well. I mean, at the most superficial level, do they really think that crap is going to work?

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      2. I think they do think it will work which also insults sisters’ intellect. Like, really, we don’t know what they’re up to??? But then again they don’t have generations of creepers to guide them in the ways of stealth like a lot of non-Muslim dudes do.

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    1. Salam brother…I don’t comment on your blog but I do read it. Very nice thing you got thing there. A more microeconomical look at social issues that the Muslim world is facing. Keep it up!

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  2. Once again sister Sister Corbin your on the social nerve. This online harassment issue is out of control. I don’t do social media, but I do have kid sister at home who does have a Facebook.

    Personally looking at the life of Mr. Zukerberg, and the “ritualistic” crap he is involved in, I would not get get social media if my life depended on it…and that includes skype.

    Men will say things on the internet that they would never ever utter in a face to face conversation. Experts are already saying that people will need two life in the near future; an online life and a real life. So much for SIMS…very very dark times ahead of us.

    (I was just reading about a Muslim girl who was blackmailed by her ex-bf, because in a moment of their privacy because he “accidentally” left his laptop on and now uses the video as a sexual blackmailing tool against her. Muslim women should be more aware of Muslim men, especially brown men, than anybody else. Most are time wasters and bring about the worse in Islam…damn them to all to hell).

    The future is very dark…

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    1. “Experts are already saying that people will need two life in the near future; an online life and a real life. So much for SIMS…very very dark times ahead of us.”

      Unfortunately, very true.

      “The future is very dark”

      In the age of “ism’s” Islam has been transformed into one. Men with no humility or piety and a disdain for spirituality have flocked to it in droves. It is all mechanical rituals to them. No understanding of the dynamic operation of revelation, the hijra towards the absoluteness of God. They are concerned with externalities not with the interior space of a human being, with the heart, the qalb, says the Qur’an.

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